The table shows the worldwide market share of mobile phone manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.
Sample Response
The tableThe table data compares global market shares of leading mobile-phone manufacturerscell phone brands in 2005 and 2006. Generally speaking, BenQ Mobile had the lowest market share globally whereas Nokia Mobile ranked firstsecured the top in its rank as leading mobile-phone manufacturernumber one leading cellphone company worldwide. NokiaManufacturer of Nokia cell phone gained the largest market share, 32.5% in 2005 and 35% in 2006one-third of global mobile phone sales in both years. FurthermoreOn the other hand, Motorola also showed a significant increase in its market shareincrease in their sale in 2006 by almost 4% from the previous yearfrom previous year. Samsung had just over one-tenth mobile phone market share in both yearsboth years and itstheir share declined in 2006. However, Sony Ericsson mobile had been able to increase its share slightlymaintain their sales with only a slight increase toat 7.4% in 2006. Likewise, a slightgentle decline of less than 1% market share could be observed for Samsung and LG in 2006. All other mobile phone companies comprised over 19% global cell phone share, but their figure fell by 3 percentage pointsdropped by 3% in 2006.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report gives a clear comparison of the market leaders and accurately describes most of the main movements, especially Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, LG, and the combined 'Others' category. Its main weakness is incomplete and occasionally imprecise data selection: BenQ’s sharp fall is omitted and Nokia’s values are flattened into 'one-third'. Use exact figures for the largest changes and group increases separately from declines.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main leaders and most trends are covered accurately, but BenQ's notable fall is omitted and some values are approximated too loosely.
Include BenQ's 4.9% to 2.4% decline and use exact figures for Nokia and Motorola.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses from overview to detail, though contrast markers are occasionally mechanical and the information could be grouped more systematically.
Group Nokia and Motorola as risers, then Samsung, LG, BenQ, and Others as fallers.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate trend vocabulary, but several company, share, and sales collocations are awkward.
Use market share, rose to, fell by, and manufacturer consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but article, agreement, possessive, and preposition errors are frequent.
Check singular company reference, articles, and from-to/by-to patterns.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table shows the worldwide market share of mobile phone manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.