The table shows the Proportion of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.

Sample Response

1

The chart depicts the percentage of children taking part in different four secondary schools over nine years.

2

Overall it is immediately apparent from the chart that the popularity of community schools was high among the learners and dramatically increased in the final year, while voluntary control schools had a significant negative trend and pupils ignored this institute over the years.

3

In detail, the percentage of students who were admitted to specialist schools began at 12%was begun at 12% in 2000, and this figureamount declined by 1% after five years. By 2009, 10%Unfortunately, 10% of children attended specialist schoolstook part in a specialist school in 2009. Moreover, grammar schools showed a downward trendgrammar schools had positive outcomes, with 24% of pupils attending themshares of 24% of children joining the school in the initial year. This proportionUnluckily this ratio fell by five percentage pointsplummeted by 5% in 2005 and fell further to 12%again plunged to 12% in 2009.

4

Community schoolsTherefore, community schools had a maximum capacity of students at 12% in 2000, but this number skyrocketed to 32% in 2005, the significant changes observed which inclined at 58% in 2009. Itit is interesting to note that 52% of pupils attended52% of learners cut their admissions to voluntary-controlled schoolsvoluntary school in 2000, and this value fell to 38%turned back to 30% and fell furthertook a nose dive to 20% after nine years.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response covers all four school types, includes most figures, and identifies the two dominant opposing trends, so the reader can follow the table’s main story. Its main weakness is imprecise reporting and interpretation, especially the incorrect 30% figure for voluntary-controlled schools in 2005 and misleading evaluative language. Prioritise neutral, exact comparisons using the table’s labels and values.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.0
Scoring rule

The response provides an overview and covers every school type, but one key figure is wrong and several trends are interpreted imprecisely.

Next step

Report voluntary-controlled schools at 38% in 2005 and describe all changes neutrally without claims about popularity or pupils ignoring schools.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The overview and two detail paragraphs create a broadly logical progression, although connectors such as Therefore are sometimes mechanical or inaccurate.

Next step

Group the two declining categories together and contrast them directly with the rise in community schools using precise linking.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

There is some range in trend vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations such as maximum capacity, inclined at, and cut their admissions weaken precision.

Next step

Use standard data-description phrases such as rose to, fell to, accounted for, and enrolled in consistently.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in passives, sentence boundaries, capitalization, and clause construction reduce control.

Next step

Build shorter complete sentences with accurate subject-verb agreement and check each passive construction before adding complexity.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The table shows the Proportion of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.