The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.
Sample Response
The given table presents the proportions of students who attendedpercentages of students who chose four types of secondary schoolfour different schools at secondary level in three different yearsin three different years in secondary level. As an overall trend, Voluntary-controlled Schools were the most popular among secondary level students in 2000 while Community Schools became the most populargained its popularity among the pupils in 2009. As can be seen, more than half of the secondary students attended Voluntary-controlled Schools in 2000 while Grammar Schools ranked secondstood at the second position with 24% of pupilswith 24% pupils. The remaining 24% of studentsRemaining 24% students were split equally between SpecialistSpecialists Schools and Community Schools. After five years, almost one-third of pupilsalmost one-third pupils attended Community Schools, representing an increase of 20 percentage pointsjoined Community Schools which showed a 20% increase, while 38% of students38% students went to Voluntary-controlled schools, so it remained the first choicemaking it still the first choice of the secondary students. The proportions of studentsThe students’ participation fell by 5 and 1 percentage pointsdecreased by 5% and 1% in Grammar Schools and Specialised Schools respectively in this year. Finally, in 2009, there was a risehike in the percentage of pupils who attended Community School which made it the most popular school type in this year. The percentage of pupilsattendants of the other three school typesother three schools dropped and together they accounted for 42% of studentsall of them managed to gain 42% students in this year with 20% in Voluntary-controlled schools and remaining 22% in other two school types. In summary, Community Schools were preferred by most of the students in 2009 and Voluntary-controlled Schools were popular in 2005 but not in 2009.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its accurate, comprehensive selection of figures: it clearly traces the fall in voluntary-controlled attendance and the rise of community schools to 58% in 2009. The main limitation is language control, with awkward collocations, missing articles and repetitive time references, compounded by the absence of paragraphing. Preserve the accurate comparisons but organise them into focused paragraphs and edit for concise, natural statistical phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview is supported by accurate coverage of the principal changes and relevant figures across all three years.
Refine the final summary to emphasise both dominant reversals without repeating details already fully established.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a clear chronological sequence, but the single paragraph and repeated phrases such as "in this year" reduce fluency.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs and use the year once at the start of each comparison group.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for describing proportions and change, though phrases such as "gained its popularity," "attendants" and "managed to gain students" are awkward.
Use natural statistical terms such as "became more popular," "pupils" and "accounted for" consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response handles several complex comparisons clearly, but missing articles, agreement issues and noun-phrase errors recur.
Proofread structures involving percentages, using forms such as "24% of pupils," "the remaining 24%" and "the other three schools."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.