The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China.
Sample Response
The provided bar chart shows information aboutreveals data about vehicle ownership in Chinaby Chinese citizens from 1987 to 1999. The data shows the number of automobiles owned per thousand peopleowned by per thousand people.
In general, vehicle ownershipthe possession of different kinds of motorised transportations increased rapidly during the period, especially after 1993during the last nine years of the given period. This rise became much steeperVehicle ownership in this period increased steadily and it was far quicker after 1993.
To begin with, in 1987 one thousand Chinese people owned only around 30 vehicles which increased to over 50which increased over 50 in just two years. The rate kept on increasing every year and in 1995 this number reached 200reached to 200. There was a dramatic increase in terms of ownership of vehicles in China in around 1995 and it reached to over 300 per thousand people in 1997 which means there were about 300 vehicles per thousand peoplealmost every three Chinese citizens owed a car. The figure for vehicle ownershipThe percentage of vehicle ownership soared more than doubleddouble in just 4 years from 1996 to 1999. In the final year, 1999, more than 400 vehicles were owned per thousand Chinese peoplevehicles were owned by per thousand Chinese people and that was an a substantial figureoverwhelming figure compared to their vehicle ownership in 1987.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview of the sustained rise in vehicle ownership and follows it with a logically ordered account of the main values, especially the faster growth after the mid-1990s. Its main weakness is imprecise chart language and several awkward grammatical forms, so the priority is to describe the measure consistently as vehicles per thousand people and compare the early and later periods more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the upward trend and gives most key values from the bar chart accurately, including the acceleration after the mid-1990s. A few descriptions are imprecise, especially treating vehicles as cars and saying the sharp rise occurred over the last nine years rather than across the whole period.
Keep the clear overview, but describe the measure precisely as vehicles per thousand people and compare the early slow growth with the much faster rise after 1993.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a logical introduction, overview, and detail paragraph, so the progression is easy to follow. Some cohesion is repetitive and the final detail paragraph is quite long.
Split the data paragraph into early and later periods, and use fewer repeated phrases such as the rate kept on increasing.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally sufficient for a Task 1 report, with useful words such as increased, dramatic increase, and soared. There are several unnatural or inaccurate choices, including transportations, possession, owed, and percentage.
Use precise chart language such as vehicle ownership, vehicles per thousand people, rose to, and figure instead of percentage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted and meaning is usually clear, but errors with articles, prepositions, passive forms, and word forms appear regularly.
Check noun phrases and verb patterns, especially reached, per thousand people, and were owned by.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.