You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what experience and special skills you have - tell him/her when you think you can start

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 6.5–7.5)

Sample Response

1

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my interest in a part-time positionpart-time job position as a member of your teamas a team staff at your football club, which you advertised in a local newspaper a couple of days ago. I was born and raised in this town, and I graduated from ACME Universityuniversity a couple of years agoabout a couple of years ago. After graduating with a degree in economicsHaving graduated in Economics, I held a full-time positionone full-time job as an assistant managerAssistant Manager at a local brokerage firm, and a part-time job at a restaurant. HoweverBut unfortunately, none of these jobs really suited my personalitywent well with my personality. More importantlyAnyway, I really enjoy football. In the past, as a university student, I was put in charge of coordinatingwas put in charge to co-ordinate inter-university tournaments. FurthermoreBesides, I have also taken courses in nutrition and personal traininga course in Nutrition and Personal Training certification which would enableallow me to offer some important nutritional and health tips to the your club's playersfootballers of your club. AdditionallyBy the way, I have a very outgoing personality, and I can start as soon as requiredas soon as you ask me to. Therefore, based on my skills and credentials, I am confidentI surely like to believe that I would be able to render excellent service to your club as a part-time staff memberas a part-time staff. Yours faithfully, Nuwan Joshua

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The application communicates its purpose clearly and gives relevant evidence of organisational, nutritional, and interpersonal skills, while also stating immediate availability. Its main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, compounded by conversational transitions that weaken the professional register. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the content into clear functional paragraphs and use consistently formal linking language.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

All three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail, although some comments about previous jobs and the conversational tone are less suitable for an application.

Next step

Keep the focus on positive suitability and replace casual phrases such as conversational asides with a consistently professional register.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The ideas follow a broadly logical sequence, but the single-paragraph format and mechanical transitions limit clarity and cohesion.

Next step

Divide the letter into paragraphs for the application purpose, experience and skills, and availability or closing.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The response shows a good range of employment and football-related vocabulary, but several collocations and word forms are imprecise.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as staff member, was put in charge of coordinating, and personal-training qualification.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A variety of complex sentences is generally controlled, with occasional errors in articles, prepositions, and clause construction.

Next step

Review the grammatical patterns that follow phrases such as in charge and qualify each singular job role with an appropriate article or noun.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:

- introduce yourself

- explain what experience and special skills you have

- tell him/her when you think you can start

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.