In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is now fairly common to omit a job applicant’s age from the application formexclude the age of a job applicant from an application form so that the selection of a candidate is not based on this criterioncriteria. I view this as a positive development. There are certain reasons that an employer may feel this is not a step in the right direction. The main one is that they may feel they need to know a person’s age because the job is not suitable for an older person. This, for example, could be because they think there is a need to be very physically fit, such as work within the construction industry where heavy lifting is needed or other work where someone is expected to be very active all day. However, as a general rule rejection on the basis of age should not be permittedit is better if rejection on the basis of age is not permitted. Although some jobs do need younger people, many employers will simply reject a candidate unfairly. For instance, they may simply be concerned about the image of the company and think a younger person will fit the company’s image betterfit the face of the company better even though an older person may be just as capable of carrying out the role. Another reason is that older people have valuable qualities to offer employersthings to offer employers that younger people may not be able to. If it is a job within a particular field, such as law or accountancy, then anthe older person will have many skills in that fieldskills in this area through working in the field for many yearsthrough working in it for so long. In addition to this, they will also bring a wealth of life experienceexperiences that a younger person may not have, which can also be beneficial in many roleswhich is also beneficial to any role. All in all, it is therefore a positive development if employers cannot reject someone because of their age. Hopefully more countries will adopt this rule so older people have equal opportunities everywhere.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its direct, consistent position, supported by a sensible concession and two relevant reasons concerning unfair image-based rejection and older workers’ experience. Its main limitation is that all ideas appear in one unbroken paragraph, which weakens the visible hierarchy of the argument. The highest priority is to separate the concession, supporting reasons, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs while refining a few awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear positive position, and develops relevant reasons with appropriate examples.
Develop the construction-work concession more precisely by explaining how an age-neutral fitness requirement could address that concern.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through a concession, supporting reasons, and a conclusion, but the single-paragraph presentation obscures this structure.
Divide the response into clear introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, giving each body paragraph one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, although a few expressions such as fitting the face of a company sound unnatural.
Replace awkward collocations with natural alternatives and reduce repeated use of general terms such as person, job, and role.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately overall, with only occasional agreement and reference problems.
Proofread noun agreement and pronoun reference, especially constructions such as this criteria and singular employers referred to as they.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.