The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. What are your views on this issue?
Sample Response
In the UK, the number of cars per household has increased dramaticallyalarmingly in the last few decades and this is primarily due to the lower cost of automobileslower cost of automobiles today. This topic is of particular interest because car use is harmful to the environment. This essay will offer suggestions on how to reduce the number of carsdecrease the cars on British roads. To begin with, in order to cut down the number of cars on the street, one suggestion is to enhance the use of different kinds of public transporttransports. DeleteBy this I mean that it is a widely known fact that cars burn fossil fuelsfuel, which is extremely harmful to the environment, and by introducing environmentally friendly vehiclesan environmentally friendly vehicle, which must be cheap and convenient in order to encourage citizens to use them, environmental harm can be reducedthe planet can be saved. For instance, the electric tram has been used in most places in the UK to decrease the number of private cars and many people choose to travel to worktravel to their work using the tram because the price is reasonable and the journey time is convenientthe time is perfect. Hence, it can be seen that by encouraging the use of alternative transport the problem of an increasing number of cars might be resolved. Another suggestion is to introduce a internationalworldwide law to regulate car ownership and usecommand car owners. In the last decade, the price of cars has decreased dramatically, and this helps people to buy cars easily. By imposing a law to increase the price of carsprice per car, for example, this might help to reduce the number of cars seen on British roadscars seeing on British roads indeed. To conclude, this essay has looked at some suggestions to tackle the problem of rising number of carsrising car number in the UK. Perhaps, finding another type of transportation and introducing a strictstrong law to control car numbers are the correct actions.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly supports both encouraging public transport and regulating car ownership, and it provides a relevant explanation and example for each measure. However, presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens the visible progression, while recurrent awkward collocations and grammar reduce precision; the highest-priority improvement is to separate the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion, then edit unnatural word choices and sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear supportive view covers both proposed measures, and each is developed with relevant reasoning and an example.
Explain more precisely how an international law would control both car ownership and use, rather than focusing mainly on purchase price.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a sensible sequence and use clear signposting, but the entire response is presented as one paragraph.
Separate the introduction, the two proposed measures, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some less common language, but recurrent collocational errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace unnatural combinations such as public transports, command car owners, and rising car number with standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences conveys meaning clearly, though agreement, article, participle, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Break up long clauses and check noun forms, agreement, and participles during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. What are your views on this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.