Many people think that employing and exploiting animals for basic human needs is totally justified while others opine that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the destruction of animals is increasing at a very fast paceat very fast pace. This has sparked a heated debate. Some people contend to use animals and consider their rights but others hold the viewhad a notion of utilising them for their personal benefitbenefits. This essay would discuss both sidesthe both the sides of the issue.
On one side, individuals should consider the rights of animals. Animals are also living creaturesone of the living creatures on this planet and have the righthave right to live freely. They do have feelingsthe feelings and an understanding of relationshipsunderstanding of the relationships. For example, dogs are considered to be loyal towards theirhis owners and even sometimes sacrifice their livessacrifices their life for the sake of protecting their owners’ life. Thus hurting them means bringing a cursecreating curse for ourselves.
By contrastOn contrary part, animals can provide the considerableregardless benefits to the economy and societyto economy and society of a country. Many people run businessesdo a business in the field of dairy farming, poultry farming, making the shoes, bags from the skin of animals, the meat industryanimals,meat industry and make good profits. Furthermore, animals are also involved in the sports these days. For instance horse riding and bull fighting are very common at present. As a consequence, all these contributing to the growth of the economy and satisfying the needs of human race.
To put it in a nutshell, although human cannot think about their progress without animals but the distortion of living creatures seems inhuman. In my opinion, animals provide us unlimited resources without any cost. So we should utilise them in control way and restrict the killing. Ultimately, for the sake of humanity and get the valuable products for a longer time we must provide them healthy and secure life.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both positions and reaches a clear, qualified opinion in favour of controlled animal use, with relevant examples from companionship, farming, manufacturing, and sport. Its main limitation is that several ideas are asserted briefly or expressed imprecisely, while frequent grammar and collocation errors reduce fluency. The strongest improvement would be to develop each view more critically and support the final position with clearer ethical reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a relevant personal position is given, though the arguments remain somewhat general and the conclusion's reasoning is only partly developed.
Clarify the ethical conditions under which animal use is acceptable and explain why those conditions justify the final position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports a clear overall progression, but some linking is mechanical and several sentences connect ideas awkwardly.
Use precise topic sentences and logical reference words instead of formulaic transitions such as on one side and on contrary part.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss rights, industries, and economic benefits, but recurring word-choice and collocation errors reduce accuracy.
Learn and use natural combinations such as animal welfare, economic benefits, controlled use, and protect animals from harm.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction are noticeable throughout.
Edit each sentence for a complete subject-verb structure, then check plural agreement and article use before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people think that employing and exploiting animals for basic human needs is totally justified while others opine that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.