Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The debate about school curriculadebate surrounding the curriculum in schools often revolves around whether educational institutions should focus solelyshould solely focus on subjects deemed directly beneficial to students' future careers, while disregarding subjectsdisregarding others such as music and sports. While some advocate for a curriculum tailored exclusivelycurriculum exclusively tailored to career-related subjects, I firmly disagree with this notion.
One primary reason why I disagree with teaching only career-oriented subjects in school is that neglecting subjects like music and sports undermines the holistic development of students. Music, for example, fosters creativity, discipline, and emotional expression, while sports instil teamwork, leadership, and physical health—skillsphysical health - skills invaluable in various professional arenas. If students are taught only science and technology-related subjects and are never exposed to subjects like music, sports and other non-career subjectssports and so on, they are deprived of a well-rounded education and perhaps fail to benefit society with their work.
Moreover, an education system solely focused on career-oriented subjects neglects the diverse talents and interests of students. Not all individuals are inclined towards science and technology-related fields; some excel in creative or athletic domains. A well-rounded education that includes music and sports encourages a balanced development of cognitive, emotional, and physical aspects, nurturing students' diverse talents and potential. It is evident that schools that offer such a well-rounded educationsuch well-rounded education often create leaders in sport and the arts, as well as scientists and mathematiciansleaders in sports, arts, scientists and mathematicians.
In conclusion, while career-focused subjects are undeniably essential, dismissing the significance of music and sports in education is short-sighted. I believe that equipping students with a diverse range of subjectsdifferent types of subjects including arts and sports is essential not only for their future careers but also for leading well-rounded and enriched livesfor a well-rounded and enriched life.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops two relevant, logically sequenced reasons with confident, varied language and strong grammatical control. Its main limitation is that some claims about social benefits and schools producing leaders remain broad or imprecisely expressed, so the highest-priority improvement is to support each central point with a more specific, credible example and explain the causal link fully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit throughout, and both reasons are relevant and substantially developed.
Strengthen the argument by adding a concrete example and fully explaining how each benefit affects future success.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and clearly.
Make the final sentence of each body paragraph tie its supporting points more precisely to the central argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective academic phrasing across the response.
Refine awkward expressions such as schools creating leaders in several fields to achieve more exact meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Polish coordination and list structure so parallel items remain grammatically and logically consistent.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.