In your opinion, why is the circus still a popular form of entertainment in the modern electronic age?
Sample Response
The circus is still an attractive type of entertainment nowadays. Although myriad types of amusement are now available at our fingertipsbetween our hands through phones, tablets and laptopsby means of phones, tablets and laptops, circuses can still attract the attention of many peopledraw attentions of many people. FromIn my point of view, the main reasons for thismain reasons for that are children and traditional appeal of it. Firstly, everyone knows thatFirstly it is known by everyone that today people are using technologyutilising and dealing with technology and its advantages more than anythingeverything else. Technology has becomeIt has been an undeniable part of our everyday life. A life without electronics is inconceivableimperceptible for modern people. However, people always want something distinct and spread their sights to visually engaging entertainmentvisual and attractive distractions. One of the most spectacular and enduringconcurrent attractions is undoubtedly the circus whose history extends backwhose history is extended to thousands of years ago. Various shows there have fascinated people for a long time and are still fascinating enough to people who have never seen acrobats, dancers, clowns and performers who work withpeople who are playing with domestic lions, elephants, snakes and other dangerous animals. On the other hand, people have the other reasons to participate in circus shows their children. Kids who are interested in almost everything are keen to watchkeen on to watch dancing animals and jugglers. Hence, parents take their children to these kinds of showsthis kind of shows to make them aware of what is going on out there and show them exotic animals. Therefore, amazed kids want with a desire to go the circus again and observe other types of shows. To conclude, in my opinion, visual attractions of the circus and its appeal to childrenattraction by children are two predominant reasons for the popularity of the circus. It seems its progress in popularity will not decrease in forthcoming future too.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies two relevant reasons for the circus's continuing appeal and keeps its central answer understandable throughout. However, the development is fairly general, the entire essay is presented as one paragraph, and frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the reasons into clear paragraphs and explain each with more precise, accurately formed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with two relevant reasons, but their explanation is uneven and sometimes vague.
Explain more directly how novelty, tradition, and children's interest sustain circus popularity in an electronic age.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a discernible progression from the main reasons to a conclusion, but the single-paragraph format and mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Use more dependable combinations such as attract attention, attend circus shows, and remain popular in the future.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause construction sometimes strain clarity.
Prioritise accurate sentence patterns and systematically check articles and prepositions before adding more complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In your opinion, why is the circus still a popular form of entertainment in the modern electronic age?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.