Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Modern era is technological era. Computers have becomeComputer become ana integral part of our liveslife. Youngsters use it in many ways. In my opinion it has more positive impacts than negative on the younger generationon young generation.
First of all, ComputersComputer help the children in their studies. They search many typestype of information related to their studies on the internetthrough internet. They get more ideas related to any particular topic which enhance their knowledge.
Secondly, it helps to improve theirthere skills. With the help of social sites like Facebook and Twitterfacebook, twitter they interact with their friends, relativeskith-kin. It helps them to increase their capability to communicate with others. Moreover, they become perfect in their work, they become computer-literateliterate in computer. Which would help them in their career also. Then everywhere is demand of computer it would helps to organisations to find perfect match for job. Then, they do not need to train staffneed not to trained staff, they can get efficient employeespersons.
However, one of the major drawback is that it invite many health problems among young children they spent long hours in front of computers which effect on their eyes, obesity is another problem for them. Furthermore it increases the gapit increase gap between parents and their childrenchild they spent most of their time on computer rather than talkingtalk to their guardian.
In a nutshellIn nutshell, I would like to say that even computer has many pros and cons. Parents should set a time limitfix sometime to use the computer and also restrict access to websitesrestrict on websites.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response states a clear disagreement and presents recognizable benefits and drawbacks in separate paragraphs, so its general direction is easy to follow. However, it is under length, several supporting points are brief or drift away from young children, and frequent sentence-level errors reduce clarity. The highest priority is to develop two directly relevant reasons more fully while using accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is stated and both sides are mentioned, but development is limited, partly irrelevant, and weakened by the short length.
Develop two direct effects on young children with specific explanations, and reaffirm the stated position in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing and sequencing are evident, but progression is mechanical and several run-on sentences obscure relationships between ideas.
Organise each body paragraph around one main claim and use full stops before introducing a new supporting point.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but frequent word-form, spelling, and collocation errors limit precision.
Use accurate topic phrases such as computer literacy, health problems, and communication skills, and proofread word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, tense, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Build accurate subject-verb agreement in complete sentences before adding more complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.