Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The discussion about the appropriate age to start schoolschool-going age for children is often hotly debated. While many believe that young childrentoddlers should start school as early as possible, others think that they should stay home until they turn six or seven and learn at home. This essay will discuss both views and argue that children should stay home and learn from their parents and other relatives untiltill they are six or seven.
Many parents want their young children to start schoolinfants to join a school early, sometimes as early as 3 or 4 years of age, so that they learn fundamental skills like reading, writing and cooperation with other children as soon as possible. They believe that this is the age when a child's cognitive development proceeds rapidlyoccurs at full pace, and schools are expected to provide them with ample opportunitiesprovide them ample opportunities to learn and acquire new knowledgegrab new information. In schools, according to them, these young children will learn important subjects such as mathematics and Englishsubjects like "Mathematics" or "English" as well as other essential behaviours and ethical aspects. It will help in shaping their future.
Others, however, think that children, until the age of six or seven years, should spend time with their parents at home as they learn what they see, play with, or observe. In other words, they cannot distinguish between good and bad habits and can easily be misguidedcan be misguided easily at school by peers. In addition to this, pressure in schools may restrict their ability to play freely and learn from their surroundings. Schools are often accused of restricting freedom and following strict rules - which is not a positive way of teaching young children. A recent survey in the United States has revealed that many school policiesschool education policies put too much emphasis on formal learning and rob children of their creative abilities.
To recapitulate, despite some benefits of starting school early, I think infants should not be sent to school until the age of six or seven. This should be followed to preventrefrain them from learning negative habits, while also providing them with more independence to cherish their childhood and learn naturally from their family and surroundings.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay covers both perspectives, states a consistent opinion, and develops a clear contrast between formal early education and learning through family life and play. Its main limitation is a cluster of awkward or imprecise expressions that weaken otherwise strong arguments. The highest-priority improvement is to replace unnatural collocations and inaccurate labels with precise, idiomatic language while preserving the clear structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the task are addressed with a clear opinion and relevant support for both positions.
Strengthen the early-schooling side with a more specific explanation of how early instruction produces lasting benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a logical progression from the two views to a consistent conclusion.
Replace vague references such as 'This should be followed' with an explicit statement of the recommended policy.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often effective, but several choices, including 'grab new information,' 'infants,' and 'refrain them,' are imprecise or unnatural.
Prioritise accurate collocations and age-related terms, such as 'acquire knowledge,' 'young children,' and 'prevent them from.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with good control, though occasional faulty parallelism and verb-pattern errors reduce accuracy.
Check coordinated phrases and verb complementation, especially constructions such as 'learn from what they see and experience' and 'prevent them from learning.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.