Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The surge in scientific research on junk food has increasingly highlighted its harmful health effects due to overconsumption. Some argue that educating consumers is an effective solution, while others doubt that education alone will workremain doubtful. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I favor the second perspectiveapproach. On the one hand, education could serve as an effective tool for addressing this issue, as it can raise awareness about the health risks associated with junk food. Many consumers are unaware that such food is generally incompatible with a healthy dietsuch food hardly fits into a healthy diet and, when consumed excessively, can quickly lead to obesity. Moreover, chronic diseases like cardiovascular conditions or diabetes often develop gradually, unlike short-term problems such as weight gain. This delayed onset may explain why many individuals, even when aware of junk food’s negative effects, choose to ignore them. Therefore, raising awareness of both the short- and long-term health consequences is crucial toin combating unhealthy eating habits. Nevertheless, despite awareness campaigns, there might be little significant reductionthere might hardly a significant reduction in junk food consumption, largely due to the affordability and convenience of such foods. A recent survey in China revealed that low-income families often have to rely on inexpensivecheap fast food rather than more expensive, healthier ingredientsexpensive, healthier ingredients. Thus, a viable solution could be to imposeimplement taxes on junk food and make healthier options, such as fresh vegetables,options, like fresh vegetables, more affordable. Additionally, in today’s fast-paced world, many working individuals lack the time and energy to prepare home-cooked meals. Therefore, governments could requiremandate companies to reduce working hours, allowing people more time to prepare nutritiousproper meals. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their own merits. However, I believe that education programs may not be effective unless combined with government policies that address food prices and the time constraints preventing healthy meal preparation. If implemented systematically, these measures could reduce junk food consumption and related health problems.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both perspectives, sustains a clear qualified opinion, and develops its reasoning with relevant explanations about awareness, affordability, and time constraints. Its main limitation is presentation as a single paragraph, which obscures the otherwise strong progression, alongside a few awkward grammatical formulations. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the argument into purposeful paragraphs and polish isolated sentence-level errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly discussed, and the qualified opinion is clear, relevant, and well supported throughout.
Strengthen the skeptical perspective further by stating more explicitly why information alone may fail to change behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through well-signposted stages, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the organisation.
Divide the introduction, two perspectives, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear controlling ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective control of topic-specific language.
Refine a few less natural combinations so that sophisticated wording remains consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only occasional non-impeding errors or awkward constructions.
Correct isolated patterns such as 'there might hardly a significant reduction' by checking auxiliary and verb requirements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.