What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge.
Sample Response
Since ancient times, mankindMankind since ancient times has always looked for ways to increase the length of its lifespantheir life span. They believe that by living a healthy life free from everyday challenges and stresses in a countryside can help them to attain long life, while few are still cracking the myth to discover water well to achieve eternal life. Longevity has its own merits and demerits at both the individual and societal levelsboth on individual and global levels which will be analysed in this essay.
There are many merits associated with longevity, because people can sharesuch as people can share the achievements and other memorable events in their grandchildren’s lives, such as marriages or birthsof their grandchildren like their marriages or birth. Some people believe that increased life span can give them a chance to complete their unfinished work that they have dreamed of completingwhich they have dreamed for. For instance, my grandfather’s long life helped him to complete his book on the historyhis book over History of Jarcha Community which he stopped working onquit working over due to increased responsibilities when he was in his 40's. Senior citizens can offerrender valuable advice which can be beneficial to societyfruitful for the society over time. Furthermore, their experience and knowledge can be used to educate young peopleeducate youth which can produce remarkable resultsresult in marvels.
On the contrary, old people can become a burden on the family and on the government. More funds would be required to meet their medical, housing and other living expenses dispersed to them in the form of pensions and other funds. These funds are collected through taxes paid by younger peoplein the form of tax from youth. With older people in rise, we can lose their senses and their thinking can be impaired while working on key positions their decisions can be drastic for the welfare of the society. Moreover, their way of living can result in conflictsresults in conflicts with the youth which disturb the family environment and relationshipsrelationship. For instance, senior people don't like noise and they tend to sleep early, which give rise to conflicts when adolescentsadolescent want to celebrate late night parties.
To recapitulate, the discussion above presentsthe aforementioned provides plausible argumentssome plausible argument on both views. IncreasedIncrease life expectancy has both positive and negative aspects associated with it and it depends on how people respond to itdepends on people how they take it forward.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both beneficial and adverse effects of longevity on individuals, families, and society, with relevant examples and a generally clear progression. Its main limitation is frequent imprecision in grammar and word combinations, which occasionally makes relationships between ideas difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to express each claim in accurately structured sentences and use natural collocations, especially when explaining societal consequences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses positive and negative effects at individual and societal levels, supporting several relevant ideas with examples.
Develop the societal effects more precisely and end with a specific conclusion about their overall significance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and contrast between benefits and drawbacks create broadly clear progression, although some internal links are awkward.
Clarify the logical relationship between clauses and use referencing more accurately within the drawbacks paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Replace combinations such as imprecise verb-preposition pairings with natural academic collocations about longevity, taxation, and social welfare.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, despite recurring errors in agreement, articles, and clause construction.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause boundaries when constructing longer analytical sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.