To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Sample Response
It is true that sharply increasing fuel pricesskyrocketing the fuel price can sharply reducemake a nosedive on the use of vehicles in many cities but curtailing the amount of fuel we usevolume of energy we utilise is not an elixir as it would raise daily living costssoar the daily living expense as well. Hence, peoplethe human being ought to develop renewable energyscout out renewable energy in an attempt to halt the tide of environmental damageenvironment upheaval.
To begin with, protecting the environment only through the highbuoyant price of energy sounds somewhat over-optimistic. Developing other environment-friendly sources of energyforms of momentum, such as hydrogen, which is the most potent weapon to address this environmental problemdeal with this murky water is a far better solution. Despite the exorbitant price of fossil fuel, there is still a range of transport modesa kaleidoscope of transportation that will need it. And by extension, air travel would beairplane would be a concrete example- although the usage of these kinds of large forms of transportgigantic transportations is bound to dwindle, it is undeniable that they still emit a largesheer amount of carbon dioxide. Therefore, diving deeply into the domain of substitute energy can serve ascan be served as a solution that closesa luminary that close Pandora’s Box. Besides the renewable energy and the colossal fuel price, rearing a myriad of flora can usher in a great preponderance. What renders an easy access to oxygen is the vegetation which would absorb carbon dioxide – the most malignant element to our environment. In this dimension, revive the biodiversity seems as important as importance can be. Shielding the rainforest from deforestation and planting a broad spectrum of trees that spanning from alpines to bush on the major boulevards can truly breathe life into the urban sprawl. Most importantly, it could thoroughly eradicate the environment ailments. With all that, it is reasonable to extrapolate that spurting the fuel prices can be described as a blunt instrument. Nevertheless, impeding a wide range of anthropogenic activities and cementing the cornerstone of ecosystem might be much more possible and practical to tackle with this elusive enigma.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement with fuel-price increases as the best solution and proposes several relevant environmental alternatives. However, the argument is weakened by limited explanation, one overloaded body paragraph, and frequent attempts at sophisticated vocabulary that produce unnatural or unclear phrasing. Prioritise precise word choice and develop two distinct, well-supported reasons in separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and relevant alternatives are presented, although several claims are asserted or exaggerated rather than adequately supported.
Develop two central reasons with realistic explanations or examples that show why they are more effective than raising fuel prices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a generally understandable line, but most of the argument is compressed into one long paragraph and linking is sometimes forced.
Divide the argument into focused body paragraphs and use clearer referencing and transitions to show the relationship between each idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows ambitious range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and misused sophisticated words reduce precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Choose familiar, exact environmental vocabulary and check that every verb-noun and adjective-noun combination is natural in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted, but recurring agreement, article, clause, and word-form errors limit control while meaning remains mostly clear.
Use shorter controlled complex sentences and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, relative clauses, and verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.