Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The world today uses more renewable energy than ever before since it contributes to the preservation of the environment and is economically sound; however, some argue that green energy could undermine the reliability of the global energy supplythe global supply because of its dependence onas a result of its dependency on climatic and meteorological phenomena. This essay will examine both views, and I strongly advocatebut personally, I strongly advocate the adoption of renewable sources of energy.
On the one hand, opponents of renewables claim that the world could face disruptions to the power supply if they were adopted exclusivelyshould they be fully adopted. This is largely due to the fact that many green energy technologies currently in use depend on variable and unpredictable conditionschangeable and unpredictable phenomena such as wind, rain and cloud cover.
To take the fastest growing sector as an example, solar panels can only be used in the presence of strong, direct sunlightpresence of strong and direct sunlight, and although the need for direct sunlightproblem of directness has already been somewhat solved with moving panel arrays, a few cloudy daysa cloudy few days could still result in a blackout if we depended entirely on solar power, something thatsolar power; something that is unlikely to occur today given current oil stockpiles.
However, fossil fuels pose a greater threatfossil fuels are a larger threat to energy security since they are certainly finite in quantity, whereas renewable energy is effectively infinite; once the Earth’s oil is depleted, there will be no energy security without green energy technologies.
Furthermore, problems of unpredictability can be mitigated by improving battery technologies (to create a larger buffer), building more renewable energy generators (to increase supply during ideal conditions) and improving current technologies (to increase efficiency), such as in the moving solar panel example. Proponents of renewables therefore claim that they are the most economically sound option.
To conclude, while many may believe that green energy technologies are a threat to energy security, the fossil fuels they frequently promote are a greater threat, and renewables are in fact the only sound option, both economically and environmentally.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a persuasive, clearly sustained position and develops the energy-security argument with sophisticated reasoning and concrete technological solutions. However, the opposing claim that renewables reduce costs and benefit the environment receives limited direct development, leaving the discussion somewhat unbalanced. The highest-priority improvement is to explain those two advertised advantages with the same depth given to intermittency and finite fossil-fuel supplies.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are present, but the environmental and cost advantages in the favorable view are asserted more than they are developed.
Devote explicit explanation and support to the claimed cost savings and environmental benefits before weighing the two positions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly from the security concern to rebuttal and mitigation, with cohesive devices used accurately and paragraphs serving clear functions.
Integrate the short rebuttal paragraph more closely with the following solutions paragraph to strengthen the balance of the discussion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, including effective language for energy reliability, finite resources, and technological mitigation.
Refine the few slightly awkward choices, such as dependency and the problem of directness, into more idiomatic technical phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled with strong control, and the few punctuation or phrasing lapses do not impede communication.
Polish punctuation around long clauses and avoid attaching a sentence fragment after a semicolon.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.