It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby. What's your opinion about this?
Sample Response
In my opinion, it is a significant partit is significant part of our lives. Everyday we try to improve and make more convenientconvinient daily routines, as a result,in result we study and work more. After a hard dayAfter hard day, spending time in at school, at university or at work, we need to separate ourselves from these thingswe need separate by these things and do something that brings relaxationwhat bring relax, pleasure, and happiness.
This is where hobbies can help.So here can help our hobbies. If you have many of themIf you have them many, like me, you don`t have any problem with choosing an activity for your free time. However, if situation is inverse and you haven`t any idea what you can do just request you relativesreletives what they do for rest. These can includeIt`s can be: drawing, sports, horseback riding, extreme sports,a drawing, sport, a horses riding, an extreme or things like DIY.
It is not important what you will choose, the main factor how you`ll feel. The kids will be happier playingwill more happy play football or paint funny facespaint a funny emotions, than sitting in their rooms and thinkingthen sit at room and thinks about homework or projects. The same situation with adults. The vacations and travels are a great opportunity to findopportunity find your pastime. For example, you can go to the sea and admire water sportswater type of sport. The main idea it`s what our hobbiesexitiments aren`t just funny they also give more benefits for our physicalphysic and mental health and access to feel better before new tasks and issues.
In conclusion, hobby is an essential thing in our lives. We need to have at least one to makethat making our life stable and comforting. Yes, studying to be smart and working to earn moneystudy for to be smart and work for to earn money — important and undeniable factors, but truly to live this life it`s really vital.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate addresses the prompt and expresses a clear opinion that hobbies are essential. However, the response does not systematically address all the specific groups mentioned in the prompt (children, young adults, working people, and the retired). The retired group is completely omitted from the discussion.
To improve, ensure that every part of the prompt is addressed. If the prompt lists specific groups (children, young adults, working people, retired), make sure to dedicate space to discussing each of them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to awkward transitions and phrasing. Cohesive devices are used but are often inaccurate or repetitive.
Work on using standard transition words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the other hand') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling errors ('convinient', 'reletives', 'physic', 'exitiments'). Some word choices are inappropriate or informal for an academic essay (e.g., 'things like DIY', 'funny emotions').
Build a wider vocabulary related to leisure, health, and lifestyle. Practice spelling common academic words and avoid overly informal expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is the weakest area. There are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, article usage, and prepositions. Many sentences are direct translations from the candidate's native language, resulting in unnatural phrasing (e.g., 'We need separate by these things', 'study for to be smart').
Focus on basic sentence structures, particularly subject-verb agreement, the correct use of infinitive vs. gerund ('study to be smart' instead of 'study for to be smart'), and article usage before nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby. What's your opinion about this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.