In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Nowadays, obesity has become one of the major health issueshas been one of a major health issues among populations in many parts ofaround the world, especially in developed countries. This essay will discussdiscussed the causes of the rise in the overweight populationcauses relating to a rise of overweight population and solutions to tackle themtackle with them. The prominent cause of obesity is a social transformation. These daysIn these days, the business environmentbusiness environment is becoming more competitive than in the past, which forces people to work hardermakes people have to work harder to earn a living and surviveearn money for living and survive. As a consequence, they tend to have less time to exercise. Furthermore, preparing food themselves on a daily basis can be impossible forto many people as they have a tight schedule of work on weekdays, therefore, ready-to-eat meals and junk food becomes their preferred food choicestheir choice of food, which tend to be low in nutrientswhich they tend to loss in nutrients. Consumption of these types of foodConsumption in this types of food in the long termin a long-term could leadcould possibly leads to various health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Although these problems have caused a great threat to public health in many areas around the world, theyit can be tackled if these measures are taken cautiously. Governments should increaseincreased investment in nutrition promotion and educational programmes to raise public awarenessraise awareness to public on the importance of being healthy. For instance, running a campaign to encourage people to cook food themselves instead of dependingdependent on fast food, because home-cooked meals contain a better balance of nutrients than processed foodwhich home cooked meals contain more balanced in nutrients than processed food. Another approach is that governments should allocate more funding to building facilitiesallocate more budgets on building facilities that are accessible to ensure healthy lifestyle of citizens. For example, build more public gyms and parks. People will be more aware to exercise when they have time. In, to decrease the number of overweight population in every countries is both a responsibility for governments and citizens. Information regarding to serious impact of getting overweight must be passed through generations to promote healthy lifestyle and increase both physical and emotional well-being to everyone.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both causes and measures with relevant, easy-to-follow ideas about time pressure, diet, education, and public facilities. Its main limitation is the high frequency of grammatical and collocational errors, while some solutions are explained only briefly. The highest priority is to improve sentence-level accuracy—especially verb forms, agreement, articles, and clause boundaries—while showing more clearly how each proposed measure would change behaviour.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response covers causes and solutions with relevant examples, although the development of some measures remains brief or general.
Extend each solution by explaining the mechanism through which it would reduce obesity and improve fitness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The cause-to-solution progression is clear and linking is generally helpful, but paragraphing is absent and several long sentences are awkwardly connected.
Separate the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion into clear paragraphs and avoid joining complete ideas with commas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing health and policy, but recurring word-form and collocation errors make expression noticeably unnatural.
Build accurate topic phrases such as raise public awareness, rely on fast food, and invest in accessible facilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for a complete main clause and then correct subject–verb agreement and verb tense consistently.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.