Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Recently, there is an ongoing debate about whetherdebate whether it is important to have a good working environmentget a good job environment and enjoyablepleasing job orand or to get a job with good wages. I believe the way people’s thinking influences is somehow to consider their decisions for this matter, especially their definitions in happiness and satisfaction in the job. This essay, from my perspectiveas my opinion leads to, will try to discusselaborate both views with some considerations and explain why I believe an enjoyable job is betteras I agree that enjoyable job is better.
Some peopleSome of the people have a belief that money can provide everythingmoney can bring anything including happiness. They dream of buyinghave dreams to buy luxury goods such as big houses, limited edition cars, updated gadgets or even to collect prestigious possessionsprestige belongings like rare paintings, sculptures, and similar itemssomething like that, and through that they will feel happy because their status in society increasestheir stratification in society increasing. These kinds of mindsets can lead to the acknowledgement that higher-paying jobsbigger payment jobs are better.
However, to regardthink materialism as the goal of life is not relevant in my point of view because enjoyment might not be bought by pieces of papera piece of papers called dollars. Psychologists explained that if we think money can afford anything, it will be a well-known agreement that the rich are the society class gaining the happiest life, but in the fact, in some ways, tells dissimilar. The rich have more risks to get problems in their families, in educating their children, and other relating impacts which all of them are similarly inevitable. This mindset, the way of thinking that money cannot afford happiness, can be a locomotive for the believers for finding a job which is convenient to avoid the dire effects. They will look for the job with appropriate tasks and deadlines and also consider the environment of business even with a low standard of wages. With happiness, they can get calmness and as a result, they can save money to not to buy for anti-stressed drugs as well as to get into excessive entertainment programs.
To sum up, people consider happiness as an input for finding jobs and it will always be better to be a breadwinner in a job that someone can find convenient in it.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly favors enjoyable work and gives identifiable reasons for both salary-focused and satisfaction-focused choices. However, development is uneven and sometimes speculative, while frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors make several sentences difficult to process. The highest priority is to build each view around one clear causal argument with realistic support, then express that reasoning in shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference is clear, but some supporting claims are exaggerated, repetitive, or insufficiently explained.
Give each view one focused reason and a plausible example, then compare them directly to justify the final preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall sequence is easy to identify, but the long third paragraph contains loosely connected claims and some repetitive progression.
Divide extended reasoning into focused stages and use referencing that makes each consequence clearly follow from the preceding claim.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and inaccurate word choices often sound unnatural and sometimes obscure meaning.
Use familiar, precise expressions for status, satisfaction, stress, and workplace conditions instead of forcing ambitious words into unsuitable contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are attempted throughout, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and verb patterns weaken clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then combine them only when conjunctions, subjects, and verb forms remain grammatically controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.