Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, most people go to college and university to study a field they might like in order to have a good and enjoyable job. However, money is still an important factor in job selectionin a job selection, and someseveral people argue that earning money is more important than an enjoyable job. On the one hand, it is true that in a way, money leads to a better quality of lifea better life quality. With more money, we canWith more money we can, for instance, buy more goodsconsume more, buy good quality products, go on holidays and do numerous activities. All these things contribute to a more enjoyable life. Even though the job we do does not completely satisfy us, all the other moments apart from our working hoursour job time will be filled with exciting things. The purpose is to reach well-being and to some extent happiness and money is a way to do it. On the other hand, although money is a way to reach happiness, it may not be enoughit may be not enough. It is not by chance that nowadays people are seeking a job that fitsfit their interests. It is an increasingly common tendencya tendency that increases more and more in Westernwestern countries. For example, universities provide a wider range of subjects and programmestopics and programs every year to help answer the questionin order to answer the question that every young person wondersevery young wonder: "What do I want to do with my life?What I want to do of my life?" In some cases, some people decide to quitsome decide to quit their job, even if it is well paidtheir job, even well paid, because they workevolve in an environment they do not like. This clearly demonstratesThis is well the proof that money cannot satisfy all our needs. In conclusion, I personally think that even though money can help peopleto have a better life, it cannot completely lead to happiness. We spend mostthe major part of our life at work and people are more and more aware that this part has to be enjoyable.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in addressing both perspectives with relevant explanation and reaching a clear opinion that enjoyable work matters more to lasting happiness. Its main limitation is the absence of effective paragraphing, compounded by recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two views and conclusion into distinct paragraphs while refining inaccurate phrases so the otherwise logical argument reads more fluently and precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed with relevant reasoning, and the conclusion gives a clear personal opinion supported by the importance of time spent at work.
Deepen the discussion by qualifying the role of salary in meeting essential needs before explaining why job satisfaction ultimately has greater value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through the two views to a conclusion, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens the organisation and readability.
Use separate paragraphs for the salary view, the job-satisfaction view, and the final opinion, with clear topic sentences for each.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied to discuss work, money, and happiness, but recurring unnatural combinations and imprecise expressions limit flexibility and accuracy.
Replace phrases such as better life quality and do of my life with natural forms such as better quality of life and do with my life.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of complex structures and remains clear overall, though errors in agreement, question formation, word order, and article use occur repeatedly.
Review subject-verb agreement and embedded question structure, especially forms such as a job that fits and what I want to do.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.