Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people’s health. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In recent times, many scientists believe that fast food consumption is a major cause of various health problemscentral to various health problems that are difficult to cure. Therefore, a few individuals hold the opinion that education can easily solve this problem; however, others think that introducing legislationimposing law can help curb this issue. This essayThe essay below will outline and evaluate the two opposing views of the matter and then assert my own opinion.
To start with, it is essential to impart knowledge to people about healthier optionsabout the healthier options when choosing their dietsas they choose their diets. This is particularlypredominantly important because a large portion of the population needs to learn about the pros and cons of junkcomfort food. Besides this, they must also be aware of the alternatives thatwhich do not harm their health. For example, the fast pace of modern liferapid pace of society leads many people to optis the reason for many to opt for cheaper meals in stores or orderchoose takeaways because they are readily availableas they are easier to grab. Thus, the impact of fast food on them is minimal since they can regulate their intake of unhealthy fats.
Nevertheless, companies should be limited in their production of fast cooking or the government must impose higher taxes on this type of food. The resorting of junk food will be coaxed to the healthier options, perhaps even being motivated to cook at home and shedding some pounds. Furthermore, this kind of food is harmful to their health as they will suffer from serious health problemspoor health issues such as heart attackslike heart attack. These health problems may eventually lead themThis eventually leads them to stay indoors instead of engaging in various outdoor activities.
To conclude, many people prefer fast food as it is easyfast food as these are easy to get and is served quickly, although frequent consumption affects their healthand served immediately which affects their health in the long termin the long-term. However, I believe that education is particularly important for the younger generation.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable four-paragraph structure and gives a clear final preference for education. However, the view that education will not work is replaced by a loosely explained argument for regulation, while several supporting sentences are illogical or difficult to interpret. The priority is to explain explicitly why education may fail, contrast that reasoning with a developed pro-education case, and use precise cause-and-effect examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses education and suggests regulatory alternatives, but the opposing view and the writer's position are only partly developed.
Explain directly why education might fail and support the final pro-education position with a specific, logically connected reason.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph structure is clear, but progression within the body paragraphs is weakened by abrupt or illogical links between ideas.
Give each body paragraph one controlling claim and make every following sentence explain, exemplify, or conclude that claim.
Lexical Resource
There is some range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as “fast cooking” and “resorting of junk food” reduce clarity.
Choose common, precise expressions such as “junk-food production” and “consumers of junk food” instead of forcing less familiar wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors in agreement, reference, and sentence construction sometimes obscure meaning.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and pronoun reference, then check each complex sentence for a clear subject and logical verb relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people’s health. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.