There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones?
Sample Response
Mobile phone useusing has become a very common phenomenon and people mostly depend on mobile phonesdepend on this cell phone for communication. The cell phone is probably the most accepted and widely used communication device than any other communication device of the past time. Though cell phone causes many healths related problem as well as social and other problems but I can't agree with the idea that it outweighs the benefits.
I believe people, from all levels of societyall levels of the society, never accept a technology that is not hugely beneficial. There are many forms of communicationcommunication Medias but none is as efficient and as immediatelive as a mobile phone. Moreover, the recent technological advancement has made the cell phone something more than a voice-communication devicea talking device. With a cell phone we can use the Internet, can play games, can store our memory by taking pictures and videos and can instantly share those memories with friends and relatives. And using those technologies cost us very littlecost us a very little in termsterm of cell phone and network providers cost. We can talk to our friends and family members as much as we want because of the low cost of these cell phones and this affordabilityI guess that has strengthened our social connectionsincreased our social affairs. Finally, mobile phone communication hasthe cell phone communications have helped to raise many small and medium-sized businessesmedium level businesses all over the worldin all over the world and have engaged a large portion of the population to be employed.
Although I agree thatThough I agree that, there are lots of adverse effects of using the cell phones. The use of cell phones while driving isDrivers using cell phones while driving is a common cause of road accidents and overuse of cell phones can cause many diseases, from severe headaches to incurable cancers. The easy access to cell phones has violated our privacy and helped the criminals to be more organised.
But I believe that those negative effects can be overcome if all of uswe become a little more cautious and be aware of the negative issues of overuse of cell phone using. Since we can't stop using the cell phone and find anand alternative and it is easily possible to reduce the negative effects of cell phone using, I strongly opine that cell phone is a very useful device to all of us in spite of its some remediable problems.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, sustained judgment that mobile phones’ communication, convenience and economic benefits outweigh manageable harms. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of the first question: medical and social problems are identified, but no distinct technical problem is explained, and several health claims are unsupported. Prioritise adding a specific technical drawback and comparing the severity of each problem with the benefits using credible reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant benefits and harms are discussed, but technical problems are omitted and some negative claims lack credible support.
Add and develop a technical issue such as unreliable connectivity, battery limitations, or data-security vulnerabilities, then weigh it explicitly against a benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four paragraphs create a generally logical progression from position to benefits, harms, and conclusion, although repetition and awkward contrast markers weaken flow.
Use precise topic sentences for benefits and the three problem categories, and avoid beginning incomplete clauses with “Though” or relying repeatedly on “But.”
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for communication, health, privacy, and business, but frequent inaccurate forms and collocations reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “mobile-phone use,” “health-related problems,” “communication media,” “affordable services,” and “small and medium-sized businesses.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, clause linking, and word forms remain noticeable.
Correct paired conjunctions and agreement, especially “although...,” rather than “though... but,” and “drivers using phones are a common cause.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.