Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is an incontestable fact that music playsplay a crucial role in our day-to-day liveslife, and the impact it has created frequently generates heated debate. The supporters of music believe that it demonstrates its valuestates its significance in an appropriate way, whereas other schools of thought claim that it has drawbacks due to harmful effects experienced by peoplesome scourges experienced by people. In the forthcoming paragraphs, this essay examinesthis discourse elucidates the merits and demerits of musicplaying songs along with my certitude in the formal stance.
To begin with, there are numerous benefits of listening to albums which are composed by multiple artists all over the world. Individuals findanticipate that listening to these songs is an optimal way to rejuvenate themselves. For instance, employees who return from workreturn from the workplace prefer listening to musicprefer hearing music on the commute. They make the best use of cutting-edge technologies by connecting their electronic gadgets and headsets or earbuds via Bluetooth, which is flexible and reliable, and claim that it is an extraordinary way to forget all the challenges faced at work and prevents them from trepidation. Additionally, people who are depressed and seeking professional aid are being advised by their therapists to listen to motivational songs. This eventually helps them to recover more quicklyhave a speedy recuperation. Hence, listening to songs is advantageous in several ways.
On the flip side, others believe that music has disadvantages for some peopleit is a demerit to some humans and has negativepessimistic effects on the public. Firstly, artists are fond of penning lyrics that contain offensive languagecomprise bad language and tend to be vulgar. It is perilous to children, and they are prone to use this kind of worst dialect when unknowingly at their educational institutes. Secondly, artists are paid too littlepaid less remuneration when they sing or compose songs despite the huge profits attained by the music industry. To cite an example, singers, lyricists and instrumentalistsinstrument players receive low wages and feel discouraged by a lack of appreciationare depressed with a lack of appreciation despite their good work. Thus there are some hindrances associated with music.
To recapitulate, this essay has explained that music is essential for our everyday activities, and it acts as fuel for a healthy lifestyle and is prejudicial in a few aspects. Although there are some disadvantages, fromin my perspective, it is critical and has optimistic effects on the public and society.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both perspectives, provides several relevant examples, and reaches a clear favourable view of music. Its main limitation is that some ideas, especially the point about artists' pay, are only loosely connected to music's influence, while pervasive unnatural wording and grammatical slips reduce precision. Prioritise direct, natural expression and develop each negative effect through a clearer cause-and-consequence explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented with relevant support, although the negative case is less directly and fully developed.
Explain how each claimed drawback specifically affects individuals or society and develop the artist-pay point beyond assertion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and an appropriate overall sequence make the argument easy to follow despite some mechanical linking and unclear references.
Use fewer formulaic signposts and ensure pronouns and logical links identify their referents precisely.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a broad vocabulary, but frequent overformal or inaccurate collocations make several statements sound unnatural.
Prefer precise everyday academic combinations such as reduces anxiety and negative effects instead of forcing uncommon words into unsuitable contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the message, but agreement, article, pronoun, and sentence-construction errors recur throughout.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and make sure every modifying or dependent phrase attaches to a clear subject.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people believe that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.