Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many parents send their 5-or 6 years old children to a primary school directly while many other parentsa lot of other parents send their children to a nursery school beforefirst before sending them to primary schools. Both of these trends have their own benefits and demerits. Parents usually send their kids to nursery schools at a very early age and some people oppose this idea because they feel that those kids should be at home with other family members.
First of all, sending children to nursery schools at a very early age gives them the advantages of being around other kids, teachers and in a nice educational environment that motivates them to socially interact and study. This is important in terms of making a regular study habitsproper habit of study and developing punctualitybuilding up punctuation. Those kids spend 4-5 hours at nursery school and can easily spend the remaining time with theirthe family members. The modern educational system is very competitive and getting involved in education and formal institutionsthe education and formal institution atin an early age is a better option for the majority of childrena majority of the children. Secondly, many children do not have siblings or other children their ageother kids at their age and they feel lonely at home. Being in nursery school gives them the opportunity to be around other childrento be around with other kids, to play, study, have fun and doto play, to study to make fun and do other activities that would be advantageous for their mental health.
On the other hand, sending children to schoolsending kids to schools when they are merely 3-4 years old is a bad idea according to many parents. They feel that children should learn the basic things like reading, numeracy, etc.reading, enumeration etc. atfrom home and only then attend primary schoolattend the primary school when they reach five or six years of agegrow to 5-6 years old. This is particularly helpful because parents teach those skillstake care of those things more carefully than others. It is often observed that many students show negative attitudesmentality as they were sent to school at a very early age. Moreover, staying at home until a certain age allows both parents and children to establishgives both the parents and the children to establish a strong bonding between them. This might be hampered if the child is sent to the nursery school. Again, parents are considered to be the best teachers and the children at the early age have a lot to learn from their parents. The trend of sending kids to school at a very early age often brings more negative aspects than positive aspects.
In conclusion, both views have their merits and demerits and the decision of sending kids to the nursery school should be made based on the convenience of the parents and kids, the educational facility at home and at the nursery school and finally based on the psychological condition of the child. The children should be given every opportunity to grow up healthy, mentally strong and well educated no matter what arrangement suits them.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response discusses both views in a coherent structure and supports them with several relevant reasons, while the conclusion provides a suitably nuanced opinion. Its main limitation is the frequency of awkward word choices and grammatical constructions, which sometimes reduce precision despite leaving the message clear. The highest priority is to proofread collocations and sentence patterns so that the developed ideas are expressed more naturally and accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant development, and the conclusion gives a clear conditional position.
State the personal position explicitly in the introduction and support the more general claims with specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct viewpoints, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Reduce repetitive signposting and tighten long sentences so that connections between ideas feel less mechanical.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but noticeable collocational and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as educational facility and negative mentality with natural, context-specific expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly despite recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and sentence construction.
Proofread noun phrases and verb patterns carefully, especially plural forms, articles, and constructions following gives or allows.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.