Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 7–8.5)

Sample Response

1

The debate surrounding peer pressure often hinges on whether its advantages outweigh its disadvantages or vice versaor if it is the opposite. While peer pressure can sometimes encourage positive behaviours and foster social connections, I believe its drawbacks are significant and can have long-lasting consequences.

2

On the one hand, proponents of peer pressure argue that it can motivate individuals to adopt healthy habits, such as regular exercise, diligence in their studiesacademic diligence, and community involvement. Positive peer pressure can serve as a source of encouragement and support that also promotes accountabilitya source of encouragement, support, and accountability, leading to personal growth and self-improvement. For example, a teenager may be more likely to participate in volunteer work if their friends are also involved, fostering greater civic responsibility and altruismleading to a greater sense of civic responsibility and altruism.

3

However, the disadvantages of peer pressure often outweigh these benefits. Negative peer pressure can lead individuals to engage in risky behaviours, such as substance abuse, reckless driving, and delinquent activities, to fit inin order to fit in or gain acceptance from their peers. The desire to conform to social norms and avoid rejection can override rational decision-making and moral judgment, leading to harmful consequences for both individuals and society. For instance, adolescents may experiment with drugs or alcohol due to peer pressure, resulting in addiction, legal problemstroubles, and impaired cognitive function. Moreover, peer pressure can contribute to the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes and discriminatory or bullying behaviourthe perpetuation of harmful stereotypes, discrimination, and bullying within peer groups. Individuals who deviate from social norms or express dissenting opinions may face ostracism, ridicule, or even physical violence from their peers, leading to isolation, low self-esteem, and other mental health problemsfeelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and mental health issues.

4

In conclusion, while peer pressure can sometimes promote positive behaviours and social connections, its disadvantages far outweigh any potential benefits. The potential for harmful behaviours, the stifling of individuality, and the negative impact on mental well-being make peer pressure a largely detrimental force, especially for young peopleyounger individuals.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.5

The response gives a clear, sustained judgement and develops both the motivational benefits and the more serious risks of peer pressure through specific, well-integrated examples. Its strongest feature is the depth of the negative case, connecting conformity to risky behaviour, bullying, exclusion, and mental health. The main refinement is to make the comparative weighting explicit within the body, not mainly in transitional claims and the conclusion.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.5
Scoring rule

Both sides are fully relevant and well developed, with a consistent outweighing judgement supported by detailed consequences and examples.

Next step

State explicitly why the severity and duration of the negative outcomes outweigh the positive gains in motivation and belonging.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

The essay is logically sequenced and smoothly cohesive throughout.

Next step

Use a brief comparative sentence between the body paragraphs to sharpen the weighing process.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is extensive, precise, and natural across motivation, conformity, risky behaviour, discrimination, and psychological harm.

Next step

Maintain this precision while avoiding slight repetition of peer pressure and harmful consequences through controlled referencing.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.5
Scoring rule

A wide range of sophisticated structures is used accurately and flexibly, with virtually no grammatical errors.

Next step

Preserve this control while ensuring all editorial notes are removed from the finished response.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Writing Task 2

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Your response

Words0
40:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.