Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
According to research on communitiesBased on the social community research, it is found that most of the criminals who have been released from prisoncriminals, who have been released from prisons, have the tendency to commit crimes again. The following essay will discuss in detaildiscuss in details about the various factors that have caused the situation and some of the ways to address the issue.
To begin with, many criminals who have completed their prison sentencesfinished their punishment period in jails have the tendency to commit crimesdo crime activities again. Based on the research onof these convicts, it is found that most of these people have difficulties in finding employmentemployments when they are back in their communitiesback in communities. When employers see their track records, they would be straightly rejected since many employers have the perception that an ex-criminal is a negative person. As a consequence, many of these people commit crimes againhave committed crimes again in order to survivein order for them to survive.
However, there are some measures that communities and governments could takeways in which communities and governments could do to solve the problem. Firstly, convicts should be equipped with useful skillssome useful skill for them during the detention period. Therefore when they are released, they would be beneficial for societies and communities. One example would be to provideOne of the examples would be by providing some technical courses such as plumbing or mechanicsmechanical courses. Secondly, the government and neighbours should collaborate to establish cooperative institutionscooperate in establishing cooperative institutions, that would hirewhereas, they will hire or recruit ex-offendersex-criminal persons. These institutions could provide services to societies through mechanical workshops, salons, or cleaning servicesas a mechanical workshop, saloon or cleaning service facilities.
In conclusion, it is a fact that many criminals, who have been released from jails, frequently commit crimes againare mostly doing criminal activities again. They do that because they feel that they are not welcome among the publicnot welcomed by the public. And to cope with the issue, governments and societies should cooperate in providing some skill and workplaces for these ex-crime persons.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both why former prisoners reoffend and how the problem could be reduced, using a clear cause-and-solution structure and relevant vocational examples. Its main limitation is frequent imprecise word choice and grammatical awkwardness, which occasionally makes otherwise sensible ideas sound unnatural and less exact. The highest-priority improvement is to revise common crime-and-employment collocations and improve control of articles, plurals, and relative structures throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response covers both parts of the task with a clear explanation of employment barriers and two relevant rehabilitation measures.
Develop the causal analysis further by explaining why the proposed training and employment schemes would reduce reoffending over time.
Coherence and Cohesion
The cause-and-solution organisation is easy to follow, though some linking expressions and references are mechanical or inaccurately used.
Use more precise logical links between sentences and avoid misusing connectors such as whereas where no contrast is expressed.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to communicate the argument, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Learn standard expressions such as commit crimes, find employment, former prisoners, vocational skills, and reintegrate into society.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms conveys meaning clearly overall, but errors in articles, plurals, relative clauses, and sentence construction recur.
Edit each sentence for countable nouns, articles, and complete clause patterns, especially after relative words and modal verbs.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.