Sports events get the nations together and help alleviate the violence in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Sample Response
Human is a social being. However, in the recent years, owing to terrorism and increment in the violence, characteristic of human as a friendly species is transforming. Some people believe that as in ancient times, sports events todaysimilar to ancient times, even today sports events alleviate global violenceextenuate the global riots and assist in maintaining harmonymaintaining the harmony. I believe it is trueI believe, it is true and these events should flourishit must flourish across the globe.
To begin with, international sporting eventsworldwide game events redirect the focus of every nation towards preparing for the eventtowards the preparation of the event. As a result, global displays of supremacythe global show off of supremacy is alleviated. It can be confirmed by the recent World Cup, during whichrecent world cup event whereby, total worldwide violence was reduced to 10%. Thus, based on this statisticon account of these statistics, it is evident that global game events are beneficialpropitious to the world.
In addition, through sportdue to sport, the majority of nationsmajority of the nations cross borders and play with each other, which sometimes pavespave the way for negotiations among the nations and provide impetus for mutual agreementsimpart the impetus to a mutual agreement. For instance, in the recent cricket tournament, the prime ministers of India and Pakistanthe Prime Minister of India and Pakistan signed an agreementhad inked an agglomeration to fight against terrorism. Evidently, prominence of game events in mitigating the global issues cannot be neglected. Sports events are friendly competitions that bring the sportsmen and the nations together. A major victory in a major competitionlarge completion has proven to reduce the international tension and difference. Many times these sorts of victories lessenthese short of winning lessen the internal political issues a country has. When sports events get popular, young people get attracted to participate in sports rather than doing crime activities. From this point of view, sports play a great role to bring nations together and reduce the crime and violence.
To sum up, similar to ancient times game events still play a vital role in stamping out global harmony, as it is an opportunity for nations to divert the focus from violence to such events.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear opinion and offers several relevant mechanisms by which sport might reduce conflict, showing ambition in both ideas and vocabulary. Its main limitation is loss of precision: unsupported statistics, loosely connected claims, and inaccurate wording sometimes distort the argument, most seriously when the conclusion says sport stamps out harmony; the priority is to use credible, fully explained evidence and simpler accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons are presented, but several claims rely on unsupported or implausible examples and the conclusion contains a contradictory phrase.
Develop one or two credible mechanisms in depth and ensure the conclusion restates the intended claim accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses from position to supporting reasons with clear paragraphing, though the long third paragraph accumulates loosely connected claims.
Divide or streamline the third paragraph and make each example explicitly support one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad and ambitious vocabulary range, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations often make the meaning unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer accurate common expressions over forced items such as extenuate, agglomeration, and stamping out harmony.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but recurring article, agreement, plural, and sentence-construction errors reduce accuracy.
Edit systematically for articles and subject-verb agreement, then simplify sentences whose clause structure becomes unstable.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Sports events get the nations together and help alleviate the violence in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.