Some people claim that what many people eat in western countries is unhealthy food and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?
Sample Response
In recent days, people argue that Western people have a sedentary life because of consuming unhealthy food and having a bad diet habit. Some assert that they must alter their lifestyle in order to stay healthykeep fit in daily life. From my point of view, having a bad diet is one of the main factors because I believe that there are otherothers factors involved in this case. Therefore, this essay will look into the reasons with some considerations.
Firstly, it is true that to leadhave a healthy life Western people should change their bad diet. As far as I know,As far as I know that the common trend among Western peoplefashionable trend in Western people is eating fast food or junk food. Therefore, they have to consume fresh fruits and vegetables. They should stop consuming frozen foodthe frozen foods and even stopeven stop drinking soda or alcohol. They should switch to consumingchange to consume more foods rich in nutrients and vitaminsfoods which are full of nutrition and vitamins. As a result, they will have a healthy lifestyle.
Secondly, another factorone of other factors is that Westernwestern people are hard workers, thus they have no time to exercise to stay healthydo exercises to keep their healthy. What I believe is that it is not enough for them if they only change theirthey daily diet, but they should manage their time to do some sporting activities. For instance, they can spend their weekends goingspend their weekends by going to a fitness centre. The sedentary lifestyle caused by the lack of time to relax their body. The fact shows that they just have monotonous activities which are staying in the workplace and consuming instant foods. There is no time for them to cook onby their own. Therefore, I personally believe that Western people should be able to manage their time wisely.
To sum up, the reasons why Western people's health condition is getting worse not only because of having a bad diet, but it was also affected by having no good time management. As athe result, they should alter their food consumption and set aside time for physical activityprovide time to do sporting activities, thus they can create a balanced lifestylecreate; life balance and stay healthy.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a consistent opinion and follows a clear paragraph structure, addressing dietary change while adding exercise and time management as related health factors. Its main limitation is that the ideas are somewhat repetitive and based on broad assumptions, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision; the highest-priority improvement is to develop the central argument with specific evidence and edit sentence structures for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and maintains a clear view, but its supporting ideas are general and sometimes shift from diet to broader lifestyle causes.
Explain more precisely why Western diets are worsening and support the opinion with a concrete, relevant example rather than broad claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and an understandable progression, though linking devices are repetitive and some logical connections are loose.
Use fewer mechanical transitions and make each sentence develop the preceding claim more directly.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss diet and health, but frequent collocation and word-form problems make expression unnatural.
Learn and use accurate combinations such as balanced diet, nutritious food, exercise regularly, and maintain good health.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts both simple and complex sentences, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, pronouns, and clause construction limit control.
Prioritise complete sentence structures and systematically check subject-verb agreement, possessives, and article use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people claim that what many people eat in western countries is unhealthy food and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.