Some workplaces do not ensure the safety of workers who use dangerous equipment. What can be done? Who should take responsibilities to ensure safety at workplaces? What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
Most people would accept that the life of a human being is more valuable than a million dollarsthan million dollars. Unfortunately, avaricious companies don't hold the same opinion. Every day, hundreds of workers around the globe die because of money not spent on safetyunspent money to safety. In this essay, I shall examine who should be held accountable for safety issueswho should be accounted for safety issues in a workplace and what measures can be taken to prevent accidents.
We live in a capitalist world that is led by profit-driven companiesmercenary companies that do not care about anything other than low expenses and high profits. The only thing that might scare the managerial cadrescare managerial cadre of a company would be heavy fines, compensation payments, and legal penaltieshigh taxes, compensations and fines. This statement may sound harsh, but one should only look at the death rate of workers in countries that do not have deterrent sanctions for negligent employers to see the bitter truth. The mine explosion in Turkey with 300 workers killeddeceased workers would be a good example to illustrate this argument. This brings us to the main actor who can introduce the strongest deterrent measures for this problembring the most disincentive measure into this problem- the government. There are a variety of potential ways of combating this problem. One preventive measure would be to compel companiesOne preventive measure would be that to compel companies to employ at least one health and safety consultant who will directly report to the corresponding ministry about the company's internal safety practicesapplications. Another measure would be unannounced regular audits. Besides these two preventive measures, astronomical fines and company closuresfines and to close companies that insist on compromising safety guidelines should be devised as the main deterrent measuresshould be devised as a main, deterrent measure.
My conclusion is that it is the regulations of governments that can save workers against employers. To tackle this problem, safety guidelines and disincentive penalties should be devised and carried on by governments.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response takes a clear, well-supported position and offers several concrete government measures, including inspections, safety consultants, fines, and closures. Its main limitation is an overgeneralised, emotive treatment of employers, with too little attention to their direct responsibilities and some recurring language errors. Prioritise a balanced explanation of how government enforcement and employer-led training, maintenance, and protective equipment should work together.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay clearly argues that government should take primary responsibility and proposes inspections, safety consultants, fines, and closures. It addresses both parts of the task, though the tone is sometimes overgeneralised and the role of employers and workers is underdeveloped.
Keep the government argument, but add a short explanation of employers' direct duty to provide training, maintenance, and protective equipment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, developed body paragraph, and conclusion. Progression is logical, but the long second paragraph contains several different measures and would be easier to follow if divided.
Split the body into one paragraph on responsibility and one paragraph on practical safety measures.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often effective, with terms such as sanctions, negligent employers, audits, and deterrent measures. Some word choices are too emotive or inaccurate, which weakens academic tone.
Use firm but neutral wording, replacing highly charged terms with precise workplace-safety language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a range of complex structures, but errors with prepositions, passive forms, articles, and verb patterns occur throughout. Meaning is clear despite these errors.
Check verb patterns after compel, insist on, and be responsible for, and edit long sentences for article and preposition accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some workplaces do not ensure the safety of workers who use dangerous equipment. What can be done? Who should take responsibilities to ensure safety at workplaces? What is your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.