Youth drug abuse is a serious problem. What are the possible causes of this behaviour? What could be done to control that?
Sample Response
Drug abuse by youths is perhaps the most wicked and concerning issue that both poor and rich nations face equallyboth the poor and rich nations suffer equally. Many young people's potential is wastedyoung talents are wasted and families are destroyed due to drug abuse. It is more concerning that young people's experimentation with illegal substances isyouth's experiments with illegal substances are on the rise. Suggesting effective solutionsaccurate remedies for that problem requires a clear understanding of the underlying reasons, and this essay will attempt to do that.
To identifyTo note down the possible reasons for youth drug abuse, we need to consider the availability of these drugs and many corrupt law officers first. According to several news reports and investigations, law enforcement agencies have liststhe law-enforcing department has a list of all drug dealers and possible spots where illegal drugs are sold. If this is the case, why they haveare yet to wipe out the illegal drug business from the city is a big question.a big question! No doubt, money and corruption play a role here. Besides, some people say that family bondsbonding in modern life is not as close as it used to be. Due to family issues and pressure, many young people start abusing drugs. Initially, they find that it provides relieffind it a relief but soon get trapped. Peers who use drugsBad companies that are on drugs can influence many young people to start using drugsinfluence many youths to start it.
To solve this problem and to control the illegal substances that youths use, the authorities should try to wipe out the illegal drug trade in the countrythe illegal drug businesses from the country. If the illegal drug trade is shut downIf the illegal drug business is closed, teenagers will not be able to obtain these drugstry them. Another way to tackle this issue is by strengthening family bondsby having better family bonding and parents spending quality time with their children. It is undeniable that youths get depressed when the family bond is weakloose. When parents start spending more time with their children, they are happiermore jubilant and have a more positive outlook towards the world. This can be a great tool to combat youth drug abusefight the youth drug abuse issue.
To conclude, we wish to have a future in whicha future when we will have no young drug abusers in our society, and this can be achieved by us - as parents, as teachers, as friends and finally as law enforcement officerslaw-enforcing officers, if we just play our roles properly. YouthYoung drug abuse is a serious issue with grave consequences, but luckily we have viable solutions to tackle it.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its complete, clearly organised treatment of both causes and solutions, with each proposal linked to an identified problem. Its main limitation is that several claims are broad or simplistic, particularly the assumption that eliminating known dealers would remove access to drugs; the highest-priority improvement is to develop these ideas with more precise causal reasoning and realistic implementation details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed directly with relevant causes and matching solutions, although some reasoning is generalised and insufficiently qualified.
Strengthen each main idea by explaining practical mechanisms and limitations rather than relying on absolute claims about eliminating drug access.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and logical progression from causes to solutions, though some linking and repetition make the organisation slightly mechanical.
Use more varied referencing and reduce repeated phrases such as "illegal drug business" and "family bonding" within adjacent sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough to discuss causes, enforcement, family relationships, and remedies, but awkward collocations and imprecise choices recur.
Replace expressions such as "wicked issue," "bad companies," and "family bond is loose" with precise, natural academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures with generally clear control, but recurring errors in possessives, question structure, agreement, and pronoun reference remain noticeable.
Review possessive forms and agreement carefully, and ensure pronouns such as "it," "them," and "they" have grammatically matching antecedents.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Youth drug abuse is a serious problem. What are the possible causes of this behaviour? What could be done to control that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.