Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some concerned groups feel that zoos are cruel and exploitativecruelly exploitative while others argue they serve the vital function of protecting endangered animals. In my opinion, though zoos are inherently unnatural, their efforts are laudable overall.
Those activists who decry the existence of zoos often point out how animals live in the wild. A lion in the African Serengeti, one of the few remaining preserves for lions in their natural habitat, roams acrossover miles of grassland, hunts for meals and competes with rival prides. This is how lions have lived for thousands of years and is the natural byproduct of a generational process of evolution. The same lion placed in a zoo paces a small cage, is tossed already dead meat to eat, and rarely has other lions to interact with or mate withother lions to interact or mate with. The evidence for zoos as a cruel institution lies in the contrast betweenlies in the contrasting of natural and unnatural lifestylesa natural and unnatural lifestyle and turning proud beasts into scavengers.
Regardless, zoos are essential for the protection and breeding of endangered speciespreservation and cultivation of endangered species. There are countless animals ranging from various big cats (lions, tigers, leopards, and other sub-species), to pandas, rhinoceros, gorillas, pangolins and many more that depend on zoos for protection and safe breeding grounds. These animals have been driven to the brink of extinction either by loss of habitat due to rampant development and climate change or hunted for their fur or alleged medicinal properties. Responsible zoos are tasked with breeding them in order to stabilise decliningfalling populations and then re-introducing them into the wild. Without these zoos, many species would likely have already gone extinctalready have gone extinct.
In conclusion, zoos are fundamentally artificial but also a net positive because of their conservation efforts. To ensure this remains the case, these zoosrefuges must be well-regulated and governments should enact complementary solutions such as anti-poaching laws.
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response gives a direct, nuanced position and develops both sides with specific, persuasive reasoning, especially through the contrast between lions in the wild and captivity and the explanation of conservation breeding. Organisation is highly controlled and the vocabulary is notably flexible. Only rare awkward phrasing and a minor lapse in grammatical parallelism limit polish; the priority is a final edit for idiomatic precision and structural symmetry.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully answers every part of the task, develops both views in depth, and maintains a clear, qualified opinion with relevant support.
For further refinement, briefly acknowledge a condition under which conservation benefits might fail, strengthening the qualification already present.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses seamlessly through distinct, well-developed paragraphs, and cohesive links are natural and unobtrusive.
Preserve this clear progression while slightly tightening the long species list so the conservation paragraph moves even more efficiently.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and sophisticated throughout, with only rare awkward choices such as 'preservation and cultivation' and 'the contrasting of'.
Replace the few non-idiomatic nominal phrases with simpler natural alternatives while retaining the essay's strong lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with only rare lapses such as the faulty parallelism in 'either by loss ... or hunted'.
Check paired constructions for exact grammatical symmetry during final proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.