The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Sample Response
The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of people from five different nations migrating to Australia in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Overall, Deleteit is evident that the percentage of Italian immigrants to Australia was highest during the period shownin question, except in 1982 when Vietnam had the highest proportion of the five countriesranked first among the five countries. Additionally, while the proportions of immigrants from the UK, India and Vietnamrates of UK, Indian and Vietnamese immigrants increased, the proportions declinedthe opposite was true for New Zealanders and Italians over the given period.
In 1962, Italian immigrantspeople accounted for the highest percentage of immigrants to Australia, at precisely 40%, while the figures for Vietnam and the UK were identical, at 10%. Meanwhile, around 87% of immigrants to Australia came from New Zealand, compared to only about 2% from India.
By 2002Over the following 40 years, the figure for ItalianIItalian immigrants fell substantiallysharply to 15%, while the figures increased towhile increases to approximately 12% and 1415% for immigrants from the UK and India, respectivelyin the figures for the UK and India respectively. At the same time, contrasting trendsan opposite trend could be observed for New Zealand and Vietnamwith regard to the rates of immigrants from New Zealand and Vietnam, at 5% and 13%and and 13% respectively.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear overview of the dominant nationalities and the main changes, and most reported figures are accurate. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage: nearly all 1982 values are omitted, so the sharp mid-period shifts shown in the chart are not sufficiently illustrated. Prioritise a concise comparison of the 1982 figures, especially Vietnam’s peak and the changes in Italy and the UK, while proofreading sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate start-and-end figures address the task, but the response omits almost all numerical detail for 1982.
Add a focused comparison of the 1982 figures, including Vietnam’s peak and Italy’s substantial fall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs follow a logical order, with generally clear progression between comparisons.
Make the final paragraph’s comparisons more precise so that the phrase describing an opposite trend does not group an increase with a decrease.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a suitable range of chart vocabulary, although a typo and some imprecise phrases reduce control.
Proofread carefully and use precise combinations such as the proportion of immigrants from each country.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, but the final paragraph contains a broken clause and a repeated conjunction.
Ensure every comparison has a complete subject and verb, and remove duplicated words during proofreading.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.