The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.
Sample Response
The pie chart presents the survey results showingof why pupils in schoolspupils in a school performed poorlypoorly performed in a country in 2011.
Overall, it is clearly seen that unskilledinexpert teachers and parental upbringingparents behaviour were the main reasonsreason for poor student performancefor students to perform poorly in school.
From the pie chart, it can be said that the main reason why children perform inadequately were the unskilled teachers the portion is 35%. Also, the one main reason outcome from pie chart was the upbringing of students affects the school learning process with 27%. In additionAlong with this, another reported cause was thatthere is another reason to add-on working parents affectedwere affecting children's development and learning performance (20%)child’s development (20%) in learning performance.
In additionHowever, lack of revision, at 8%,a lack of revision with 8% was also a reported cause of poor performancethe reason that students could not perform up to the mark. Moreover, the school does not have proper facilities to provide to students for their better development which accounted for 10% of responseswhich is from the survey is 18%.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers every cause and correctly highlights unskilled teachers and upbringing as the two largest shares, giving it a recognizable overview. Its main limitation is unreliable precision, especially the incorrect figure for poor facilities, alongside frequent grammatical awkwardness; the highest priority is to verify each category and percentage and present the comparisons in shorter, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main features and all five categories are addressed, but poor facilities is incorrectly reported as 18% rather than 10% and comparisons remain limited.
Check every percentage against the chart and compare the largest, middle, and smallest causes directly rather than listing them separately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and detail paragraphs create a generally clear sequence, although repetitive framing and awkward connectors make the progression mechanical.
Organize the figures into ranked groups and use concise comparative links instead of repeatedly introducing each item as another reason.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but repetition of reason and inaccurate expressions such as inexpert teachers and reason outcome limit control.
Use precise chart language such as accounted for, proportion, leading cause, and smallest share while avoiding forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent problems with agreement, articles, possessives, and clause construction occur throughout, though the main meaning is usually recoverable.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and complete sentence patterns when reporting each category and its percentage.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.