The graph shows the average annual expenditure on cell phones and residential phone services.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the amount of money spent on mobile and residential phone services annually over the decadeyearly within a given decade(from 2001 to 2010) in the US using data fromas conducted by the Bureau of Labor StatisticsBureau of labour services. From the image, it is immediately apparent that spending on cell phone services rose sharplythe use of cell phones surged as the years went by, while spending on residential phone services declinedthat of home phones became unpopular, as evidenced by the expenditure recordedthe income generated.
In 2001In the beginning year 2001, 200 dollars was spent on mobile phones compared to $700700dollars on residential phone servicesresident phones, indicating that spending on mobile phone services was much lowermobile phones were not in massive use then. However, the trendnarrative changed in 2002 as spending on cell phone services started to riseconsumers started becoming accustomed to cell phones and residential phones began to declinetook a plummeting turn.
By the year 2006, according to the survey, mobile phone service returns were seen to have reached the same level as home phones which was about 550dollars at that time.
After that year, the expenditure on residential phone servicesincome from residential phone services continued to decline steadilykept on with the steady decline whilst spending on mobile phone services increasedthat of mobile inflated.
By 2010Lastly, hypothetically, by the end of 2010, Deletedue to the popular use of cell phone services, its expenditure reached 750dollars while expenditure on residential phone services fell to about $400residential phones significantly declined to 300 dollars.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the two opposing trends and includes useful figures for the starting point and crossover, while its generally clear organisation makes the account easy to follow. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally inaccurate selection, especially the claim that residential-phone spending fell to $300 in 2010 when the graph shows about $400. Prioritise precise units, endpoints, and comparisons drawn directly from the graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several relevant figures address the task, but the final residential-phone value is inaccurate and coverage of intermediate changes is limited.
Report the 2010 residential figure as about $400 and support the overview with two or three precise comparisons across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account follows a logical chronological sequence, although excessive short paragraphs and some vague referencing make progression less smooth.
Group related years into two developed detail paragraphs and use explicit references to each service instead of vague forms such as 'that of mobile'.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for describing trends, but several choices such as 'income', 'returns', and 'inflated' misrepresent expenditure data.
Use precise trend language such as 'spending rose', 'expenditure fell', and 'the figures converged' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures generally communicates the comparisons, despite recurring article, spacing, punctuation, and phrasing errors.
Proofread sentence boundaries, articles, and noun phrases, especially forms such as '$700', 'residential phones', and 'annual expenditure'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows the average annual expenditure on cell phones and residential phone services.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.