The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 5.5–7)

Sample Response

1

The given diagram shows the stages of manufacturing and the process of adjustmentstages of manufacturing and process adjustment of the consumer goods. As is observed from the flowchart, the goods manufacturing is a complex process which is done in several stages and information is sometimes fed back to earlier stages to make some adjustments. Firstly, raw materials and other components are stored together and production planning is done. Two major processes are involvedTwo major process involves in the overall manufacturing process: one is manufacturing flowmanufacturing process itself and another one is the information feedback process throughwith which the adjustment of the manufacturing is done. After the product research, the design part is done and this input is used in the product planning stageproduct planning stage. A comma helps separate the introductory clause.After the production planning is complete the assembly, inspection, testing and packaging stages are done sequentially. Feedback from the testing phase is usedtesting phase is used in the design stage which leads backand which led back to product planning stage. Again, the market research affects the design and advertising stages and inputs from the market research stage are used in the packaging stage. The final two stages are dispatch and sales. The information flow stage gives feedback to other stages to refine and adjust the process. In summary, the consumer goods manufacturing process involves both the multi-staged manufacturing and research methods. The manufacturing stages involve the storage, assembly, inspection, packing to the sales stagemethods whereas the research stages include market & product research, design and advertisingadvertisement.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The report successfully outlines the main manufacturing sequence and recognises that information is fed back to earlier stages, giving the response a generally clear overview of the process. Its main weakness is imprecise handling of several feedback routes, compounded by awkward links and frequent grammatical errors; the priority is to trace each arrow type separately and describe every relationship with precise diagram labels and simpler sentence structures.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.5
Scoring rule

The response explains the main manufacturing sequence and recognises that information is fed back to earlier stages. It misses some exact feedback routes and occasionally blurs product research, design, market research, and advertising relationships.

Next step

Follow both arrow types separately: first describe the manufacturing flow from storage to sales, then describe feedback from sales/testing/market research to planning, design, packaging, and advertising.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The report has an overview and a sequential description, but some links are awkward and the final summary repeats earlier content.

Next step

Use process connectors such as “after this”, “at this point”, “in parallel”, and “feedback is then sent back to”.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is generally appropriate for a process diagram, but some collocations are inaccurate or wordy.

Next step

Replace vague phrases such as “sales methods” and “research methods” with precise labels from the diagram.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

There are frequent agreement, article, and clause errors, especially in complex sentences about feedback.

Next step

Simplify complex clauses and make sure each sentence has a clear subject and finite verb.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.

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