The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.
Sample Response
The two charts show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in the years 2005 and 2015. In general, we can see that the percentages of working people increased, with the proportion of women showing the most significant rise.
In all of the countries covered, and in both years, the percentage of employed men was higher than that of employed womenthe number of men in employment was greater than the number of women. South Korea has the highest rate of male employment – approximately 75% in 2005, rising slightly to about 78% in 2015 – and Canada has the lowest – just over 60% in 2005 and 70% in 2015.
The proportion of women in employment was lower than that of menlower than men in all of the countries covered in both yearsover the two years. It was below 50% everywhere in 2005, but female employment rates had risenthe figures had risen by 2015. In Canada, the female employment rate exceeded 50%over half of the women were working, and in Sweden the figure was exactly 50%. In contrast, the number of South Korean women who were working was only about 35% compared with a percentage which was more than double for men at over 70%.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised and uses generally clear, varied language to compare the two years. Its main limitation is task accuracy: the overview wrongly implies every rate rose, and the discussion overlooks Sweden's fall in male employment while misidentifying the highest and lowest male figures. Prioritise checking every overview claim and major comparison directly against both charts before adding detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several relevant comparisons are provided, but notable claims about universal growth and male rankings are inaccurate.
Revise the overview and male comparisons to show Sweden's decline and the correct highest and joint-lowest figures in each year.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is grouped logically into an overview, male data and female data, with clear progression throughout.
Reduce repeated framing such as 'in all of the countries covered' and make transitions between years more economical.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of comparison and trend vocabulary with generally appropriate word choice.
Use 'percentage' or 'proportion' consistently instead of 'number' when describing employment rates.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex comparative structures is handled accurately, and errors do not impede understanding.
Refine awkward comparative phrasing such as 'a percentage which was more than double for men' into a more direct structure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.