The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000.
Sample Response
The provided bar graph compares the fertility rates of women in six Gulf countries6 different Gulf countries between 1990 and 2000. Their fertility rates are comparedThe fertility rate of those women was compared in two different years in 1990 and 2000, ten years apartwith a gap of 10 years - 1990 and 2000. As is evident in the bar graph, the fertility rates declined over the decade in five of the six countriesall the countries and women in Oman and Saudi Arabia had higher fertility rates than women in the other four countriesthe women in other four countries. In 1990, the fertility rate for women in Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and the UAEeach woman in Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and UAE was on averageon an average between 3 andto 4. However, this figures reduced to 2-3 by the year 2000. On the other hand, Omani and Saudi Arabian women had the highest fertility rates during both yearsboth of the years. Oman had the highest fertility ratelargest number of childbirths per womanper thousand woman, which was 7 in 1990 and just above 5 in 2000. Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia remained in the second-highest ratethe second position with a relatively highwith relatively a higher fertility rate. It is quite obvious to notice that the fertility rate of women in all these Gulf countries reduced in 2000 than it was 10 years earlier. To summarise, even though there was a decrease in women's fertility ratesthe women fertility rates, Oman and Saudi Arabian women continued to show relatively high fertility ratesa fairly higher fertility rate among the six Gulf countriesamong the women in these 6 Gulf countries.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the universal decline and the consistently higher rates in Oman and Saudi Arabia, giving it a relevant overall picture. Its supporting detail is limited and partly inaccurate, especially the claim that all four lower-rate countries fell to 2–3 and the use of births per thousand women instead of births per woman; repetition and language errors also reduce polish. Prioritise accurate units and a fuller set of comparative figures across both years.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main downward trend and the two highest countries are identified, but supporting comparisons are limited and include an inaccurate range and an incorrect unit.
Report births per woman accurately and add precise comparative values for Saudi Arabia and the four lower-rate countries in both years.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a generally logical overview-to-detail sequence, but the one-paragraph format and repeated summary of the decline weaken progression.
Separate the overview from the detail and organise the body into high-rate and lower-rate country groups without restating the same conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of trend and comparison vocabulary, though imprecise choices and awkward collocations recur.
Use precise expressions such as births per woman, fell from, and had a higher fertility rate, while avoiding redundant phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, determiner, comparison, and possessive errors are noticeable throughout.
Edit systematically for plural agreement, articles, possessive forms, and comparative patterns such as lower than it was.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.