The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed.
Sample Response
The pie chart gives data on the most important aspects that participants learnedaspects that candidates have learned from their internship, according to a survey which considered the opinions of 4,000 candidates4000 candidates opinion. OverallGenerally speaking, practical knowledge, communication skillsskill development, understanding industry, work environment and future career planningplanning for the future career are the most important aspects that those candidates learnedperspectives those candidates have learned. In detailGetting back to details, 15% of candidates15% candidates reported thatexpressed their opinion that the most significant lesson they have learned from their internship experience was practical knowledge while 7% thought real work experience was the most importantnecessary lesson for them. The second-largest group of candidates reportedThe second highest ratio of these candidates opined that they have developed their communication skills and this was the most important skillbest knowledge they have gained from the internship. One out of ten thought that understanding industry was the most beneficial thing they learned. Moreover, time management, work operation and planning for future career were each selectedeach was picked by 7% internship students as their most valuable knowledge from their internship experienceactivity. Comparatively small proportionsComparative a small ratio of those candidates picked teamwork and work environment, 3% and 4% respectively, to be their greatest lesson. Just over one fourth of those four thousand survey participants expressed other aspects that they learned to be most important.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response reports nearly every category with accurate percentages and communicates the detailed comparisons clearly. Its main limitation is an unreliable overview: it overlooks Other as the largest segment and presents several relatively small categories, including work environment and career planning, as the most important. The highest-priority improvement is to identify the dominant and secondary shares accurately in the overview, then organise the figures into clearer paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Almost all category values are reported accurately, but the overview misses the largest Other segment and misclassifies several smaller shares as the most important.
State that Other is largest at 26%, followed by practical knowledge and communication skills, before grouping the remaining smaller categories.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a broadly logical sequence, but the entire report is presented as one dense paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Separate the introduction and overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs, using comparisons rather than stock transition phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of chart vocabulary, although several choices and collocations, such as perspectives learned and ratio opined, are unnatural.
Use precise combinations such as proportion of respondents, aspect learned, and accounted for to describe the survey naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the meaning, but recurring article, possessive, agreement, and word-form errors reduce control.
Review noun phrases and percentage structures, especially candidates' opinions, 15% of candidates, and comparatively small proportions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.