The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Sample Response
The diagrams describe the the life cycle of the silkwormlife cycle of silkworm and also illustrate the procedure of silk cloth production. As is presented in the first picture, the life cyclefirst picture life cycle of silkworm begins with eggs laid by mothmother worm. Silkworm eggs hatch into silkworm larvaetransform into the shape of silkworm larva after around 10 days. Then the second process starts, and in this stage the larvae usually eatlarva usually, eat leaves like mulberry leaves in order to grow up. The feeding stageFood process lasts 4 to 6 weeks. Larva generates silk threadsilk threads shells at the end of the second stage. The third stage begins when silk thread the larva spins silk thread to form a cocoonshells create cocoons, this process usually lasts for 3 to 8 days. In the final stage, cocoons transform into moths after 16 days. The moths then lay eggsAnd moths grow up and begin the cycle againrecycle whole procedure step by step. As is observed from the second picture, which describes the productionproducing of silk cloth from silkworm, total stages of silk cloth production are five. Initially, in the first stage, silk thread shells are selected and boiled into hot water. Shells are unwoundunwinded properly and unwinded shells are exactly 300 to 900m long. Then threads are twisted and dyeddyed in dyers. And finally, those the threads are wovensilks are weaved and again dyed. The process of twist and dry, weave and dry possibly repeated if it is necessary to produce high-quality silk cloth.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both diagrams and reports the principal timings and production sequence, so the overall process is understandable. However, it lacks a concise overview, misstates how the cocoon forms, and repeatedly uses inaccurate process vocabulary such as shells, dry, and dyers. The highest-priority improvement is to describe each stage with precise passive verbs and clearly distinguish the cyclical life cycle from the linear cloth-production process.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most stages and timings are included, but the overview is weak and several biological and production relationships are inaccurately expressed.
State the cyclical versus linear structures first, then report every stage in the diagram without adding unsupported interpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows the diagrams in sequence, but it is a single dense paragraph and uses repetitive stage markers.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview, life cycle, and silk production.
Lexical Resource
There is enough process vocabulary to communicate meaning, but frequent wrong collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use hatch, feed on, spin thread, form a cocoon, unwind, twist, dye, and weave.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but article, agreement, punctuation, passive-form, and participle errors are frequent.
Build short passive process sentences and proofread subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Your response
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