The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
Sample Response
The tableThe table data compares the results of a surveyfigures of a research on why UK residents visited overseas from 1994 to 1998, and the bar chart illustrates where they travelled during these five years.
As a whole, the majority of the UK citizens travelled abroad for holiday making, business and visiting friends and relatives, and Western Europe was their most favourable destination.
By looking at the table, it can be seen that generally there was a growing tendency for the UK people to travel into other countries from 1994 to 1998. In 1995During the second year, in 1995, the total number of visitstravellers marginally declined from just over 22,000just over 22000 to about 21,600nearly 21500; however, it steadily grew and peaked atreached the peak of approximately 29,000approximately 29000 in 1998in the year 1998.
These people gradually became more interested in traveling to all three regions during this period, but Western Europe was the best option. In 1994, just below 20,000 of UK residents travelled to Western Europethe UK citizens went into Western Europe, compared with only about 1,000 visiting North Americaonly almost 1000 into the North America. Furthermore, after a small drop in 1995, the number of visits to Western Europepopulation of Western Europe visitors increased markedlyremarkably increased and reached the high of just over 24,000maximum of above 24000 in 1998, which was far higher thanfar more significant than the other two locations.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organization: it separates the table from the destination chart and identifies Western Europe and the overall rise in travel. Its main limitation is incomplete selection from the purpose table, since it gives no figures or trends for holidays, business, visits to friends and relatives, or other reasons. Prioritize comparing those categories with accurate values while retaining the concise overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and broadly accurate destination trends are given, but the purpose table is represented mainly by totals and its category changes are largely omitted.
Compare the holiday, business, friends-and-relatives, and other-reasons figures across the period, emphasizing that holidays remained dominant.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure progresses clearly from introduction and overview to the table and then the destination chart.
Make the transition within the destination paragraph more explicit when moving from the general regional trend to selected figures.
Lexical Resource
The response uses sufficient trend and comparison vocabulary, although phrases such as figures of a research, holiday making, and population of visitors are imprecise.
Use natural data-reporting collocations such as survey figures, travel for holidays, and number of visitors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, with recurring article and preposition errors that seldom impede meaning.
Review article use and destination prepositions, particularly research without an indefinite article and travel to rather than into a region.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.