The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.
Sample Response
The pie charts show the amounts of revenue and expenditureamount of revenue and expenditures in 2016 for a children’s charity in the USA. Overall, it can be seen that donated food accounted for the majority of the income, while program services accounted for the largest share of expenditurethe most expenditure. Total revenue sources just exceeded outgoings. In detail, donated food provided most of the revenue for the charity, at 86.6%at 86%. Similarly, with regard to expenditures, program servicesone category, program services, accounted for nearly all of the outgoings, at 95.8%. The other categories were much smaller. Community contributions, the second-largest revenue sourcewhich were the second largest revenue source, brought in 10.4% of overall income, and this was followed by program revenue, at 2.2%. Investment income, government grants, and other income were very small sources of revenue, accounting for only 0.8% combined. There were only two other expenditure items, fundraising and management and general, accounting for 2.6% and 1.6% respectively. The total amount of income was $53,561,580, which was just enough to cover the expenditures of $53,224,896.
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response is highly effective: it gives a precise overview, selects every important feature, and supports comparisons with accurate percentages and totals. There is no substantial content weakness, though a few phrases could be slightly more economical and the dominance of the two principal categories could be compared even more directly. Prioritize concise comparative synthesis to make an already strong report still sharper.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report fully and accurately covers the dominant categories, all minor categories, and the relationship between total revenue and expenditure.
Refine the overview by directly emphasizing that both charts are overwhelmingly dominated by a single category.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is exceptionally easy to follow, with a clear overview and a well-controlled progression through major and minor figures.
Tighten the transition into the smaller categories so the comparison between the two charts remains central throughout.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, with effective variation among revenue, income, expenditure, and outgoings.
Use the more concise phrase total revenue instead of total revenue sources to improve precision further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently controlled punctuation and agreement.
Maintain this accuracy while trimming a few clause-heavy sentences for maximum economy and impact.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.
Your response
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