The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
Sample Response
The given pie charts compare the highest levels of educationhighest education level among women in Someland over a 50-year periodin 50 years duration. OverallAs is observed from the given data, women made remarkable progressthe women made a remarkable progress in education over the 50-year periodover the 50 year’s period in Someland.
Initially, in 1945, 35% of womenmore than one-third women in Someland did not have any schooling experience while another 35%another one-third had completed only the third gradecould manage education until third grade only. Less than 1% women in this year managed to get their graduation or post-graduation degree. This reflects the low level of educational attainmentpoor education level among women in Somelandamong the female of Someland in 1945.
By 1995After 50 years, women’s educational attainment in Someland had improved remarkablythe education level among women in Someland remarkably improved and 50% of womenmore than 50% women held a first degreefinished their first degree while 20% of them held a postgraduate qualificationcompleted their post-graduation. The remaining womenRemaining women either finished their 12th-grade education or had completed Year 9studied till 9th grade. No women were left unattended to school and that’s a remarkable progress for women in education in Someland.
In summary, education level among women improved significantly over the 50 years period in Someland.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is easy to follow and gives a clear overall message that women's educational attainment rose substantially between 1945 and 1995. Its main weakness is limited and sometimes inaccurate data selection: the first-degree share in 1995 is 50%, not more than 50%, and several middle education categories receive no figures. Prioritise a fuller set of precise comparisons while correcting recurring article, plural, and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies substantial educational progress, and the main dominant categories are reported, but coverage is selective and two percentages are misstated.
Report the 1945 middle-level categories and the exact 1995 distribution, then compare the major shifts directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through the two years to a summary, with appropriate paragraphing and generally clear referencing.
Avoid repeating the overview in the final paragraph and use direct comparisons to connect corresponding categories across the two years.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates the trends clearly, but recurring awkward collocations such as 'manage education' and 'get their graduation' reduce precision.
Use standard data-reporting phrases such as 'reached Year 6', 'held a first degree', and 'had no formal schooling'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures successfully, although article, possessive, noun-number, and determiner errors recur throughout.
Proofread quantified noun phrases and articles, especially forms such as 'one-third of women', 'a 50-year period', and 'the remaining women'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.