The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates how youngsters in four countries (namely Malaysia, China, Nigeria and Sudan) participate in four different indoor activities. Overall, playing computer games is the most popular activity among those youngsters while reading books is the least preferred. Besides, watching different TV programmes is equally popular among the childrenequally liked by the youths in these countries. To begin with, precisely half of all Malaysian and Sudanese children like to spend their leisure time playing computer games. By comparisonAt the same time, an even higher proportion of Nigerian boys and girls take part in this activity, 60 per cent to be exact. Finally, four out of ten adolescents in Sudan engage in this pastime activity. Watching TV is the second most common pastime and, interestingly,and interestingly, it attracts exactly 30% of youngsters from all four countries. Regarding board games, 30% of Sudanese children play board gamesan equal percentage of Sudanese children are involved while the figures range from one-fifth to one-fourth for the remaining countries. Additionally, 20% of Malaysian and 15% of Chinese children20% Malaysian and 15% Chinese children like to read books in their free time. For Nigeria and Sudan, the corresponding figurestheir figures both stand at ten per cent. It is worth noticing that the popularity of computer games can be up to six times as great as that for6 times as much as that of reading books.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its generally clear summary and its accurate reporting of most figures, including the dominant preference for computer games and the low reading rates. Its main limitation is data accuracy: China’s 40% computer-games figure is attributed to Sudan, and Malaysia is incorrectly said to have 30% watching TV. Prioritize checking every country-label pairing against the chart and explicitly noting Malaysia’s zero TV figure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and many accurate comparisons are provided, but two country-specific claims conflict with the chart and Malaysia’s absence of TV participation is missed.
Verify each figure against its country label and report the exceptional zero value for Malaysian children watching TV.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a recognizable overview-to-detail progression, although the single unbroken paragraph and some mechanical transitions weaken organization.
Separate the introduction, overview, and grouped details into clear paragraphs and link comparisons by category rather than with generic sequencing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary and comparative expressions, with occasional imprecise choices such as referring to young children as adolescents.
Use age-appropriate references consistently and replace awkward combinations such as equally liked with more precise comparative wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is generally controlled, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede meaning.
Improve accuracy in noun phrases and proportions, for example by writing 20% of Malaysian children and six times as popular as.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.