You took your young child, who had severe stomach pains, to a hospital Emergency Department. You waited almost four hours before a doctor treated your child and other staff constantly ignored you. Write a letter to the Hospital Registrar. In your letter: - describe the long wait for treatment - explain how the other staff treated you - complain about the service you received
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my utter dissatisfaction with your hospital's emergency service I receivedemergency service that I experienced last Monday when I took my six-year-old daughter to your hospital. I am hoping you will take this complaint seriously and take the necessary actionactions. On Monday evening, my daughter Angela, suddenlyall of a sudden, complained about severe stomach painstomach pain, and it became more severe with every passing minutegot severe every passing minute. WithinIn an hour, I rushed to your hospital's emergency department expecting promptspeedy treatment for my daughter. HoweverBut on the contrary, I faced seriousharsh negligence from the hospital staff. As my daughter's condition was deteriorating and she was crying relentlessly, I requested them to arrange an urgent consultation with a doctormake an urgent appointment with a doctor. HoweverBut, after waiting for four long hours, a doctor finally treated hera doctor treated her. He told me that it was a serious case of food poisoning and that my daughter needed urgent treatment as it could have been fatal. He immediately admitted her to the hospital. I was terrified after hearing thisit from the doctor. I repeatedlycontinuously pleaded with the staff for an urgent appointment, but they completely ignored my request.
This sort of negligence will hurt your hospital's reputation and set a bad exampleset bad examples. I request you to take this matter sincerely and try to improve your emergency department's service as the term emergency does not suit it currently. I hope to get a reply soon regarding the action you are likely to take. Yours faithfully, John Louis [Penned by - Sabrina Qamar]
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter clearly communicates a serious complaint, explains the four-hour wait and staff neglect in relevant detail, and maintains an appropriately formal, forceful tone. Its main limitation is imprecise collocation, with phrases such as “harsh negligence,” “make an urgent appointment,” and “take this matter sincerely” sounding unnatural. Prioritize replacing these combinations with idiomatic formal wording while retaining the strong factual development and clear requested action.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the complaint is supported with specific and persuasive detail in a suitable register.
Make the requested institutional response slightly more concrete by asking for an investigation and confirmation of measures to prevent a recurrence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account develops in a clear chronological sequence and concludes with a logical request, though the long central paragraph could be more evenly organized.
Split the central account so the four-hour wait and the staff’s conduct each receive a focused paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a strong range of formal and emotive vocabulary, but several inaccurate collocations make parts of the complaint sound unnatural.
Replace phrases such as harsh negligence, make an urgent appointment, and take this matter sincerely with serious neglect, arrange an urgent consultation, and treat this matter seriously.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally accurate, with occasional awkward comparative, article, and reference choices that do not obscure meaning.
Polish forms such as became more severe with every passing minute and after hearing this from the doctor, while checking article use in formal noun phrases.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You took your young child, who had severe stomach pains, to a hospital Emergency Department. You waited almost four hours before a doctor treated your child and other staff constantly ignored you. Write a letter to the Hospital Registrar. In your letter:
- describe the long wait for treatment
- explain how the other staff treated you
- complain about the service you received
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.