Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
I think that everyone can divide all advertisedadvertising products and services into useless ones and useful ones. It is like looking through an information desk when you pay attention to those messages that interest you. Take me for example.
I do not like jewellery. It does not mean I do not have it at all, I have a couple of inexpensive rings as gifts from my parents. I just think people pay too much attention to jewellerythis stuff. I believe it is the result of mass advertising. Every day when I watchwhen I am watching TV, listening to the radio or reading the paper, I noticereading the paper I notice many ads promotingads about getting expensive rings, chains, necklaces or earringsan expensive ring, chain, necklace or earrings. From my point of view, this kind of advertisingthese kinds of advertising contaminate people's minds. As a resultIn this case, peopleyou are encouraged to buy things you do not really need. Such advertisements make people believeThey make you believe you need such products in order to succeed or be happy.
On the other handFrom the other side, I think that advertisements for new detergentsadvertisements of the new detergents with up-to-date formulas to help you keep your clothes in perfect conditionmaintain your cloth in perfect conditions, the new cars with some extra featuresfutures that make your travelling more comfortable and sports equipment that helps you lead a healthier lifesports goods that make your life healthier may help you to improve your life.
Recently my husband and I saw an online advertisement foran ad on the Internet about a very interesting and inexpensive vacation to Japan for a week. Is not it awesome? We like travelling. So now we are planning to find out more about it and perhaps make a reservationand, maybe, make reservations. I believe that, without advertisements, we would be unaware ofabout plenty of opportunities that may make our liveslife happier, easier and less stressful.
My point is that every person has his own scale of values. So if he is vegetarian he will consider an ad about meat products useless for him.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest when it uses concrete personal examples to show how advertising can both manufacture desire and reveal useful opportunities. Its main limitation is that the qualified position—that usefulness depends on individual values—is only fully stated at the end and is not developed into a sustained answer to which viewpoint is preferred. State that position explicitly in the introduction and organise each example around proving it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views with relevant examples and reaches a qualified position, but that position is implicit for much of the essay and the final generalisation is only briefly developed.
State the conditional position in the introduction and explain more fully how personal values determine whether advertising creates unnecessary wants or useful awareness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and the examples progress clearly, although some transitions are awkward and the conclusion does not fully consolidate the preceding argument.
Use more natural linking between the contrasting cases and make the conclusion explicitly connect both examples to the central position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, with effective choices such as “contaminate people's minds” and “scale of values,” but several inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Improve collocational accuracy by replacing phrases such as “advertising products,” “maintain your cloth,” “extra futures,” and “unaware about” with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, but recurring article, punctuation, agreement, and question-form errors prevent consistently strong control.
Proofread sentence boundaries and fixed grammatical patterns, especially comma splices, article use, plural agreement, and inverted questions such as “Isn't it awesome?”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.