In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
Sample Response
Child labour has significantly increased in developing countries over the last few years. Due to the high inflation, more people are likelysusceptible to send their children to paid activities. Some people argue that children'schildren involvement in work could lead to severe problems. Others state that paid workworld could help enormously in developing skills, confidence and other essentialessentials traits of professional lifelives. I believe that children involvement in work has dire consequences. It is often seen that children are more opted towards bad activities, those start working in their childhood. They have to interact with various types of peoplepeoples in order to perform their daily jobsjob. These people can take advantage of their innocence by involving them in suspicious activities. Children have been rewarded against that, this increases their hunger for money and thus they become criminals. However paid work plays a pivotal role in improving people's living conditionsliving conditions of peoples. Children start doing work in order to support their families financially. In recent years, life has become very difficult due to inflation. That is why the majority of poor people push their children into paid workindulge their children in paid work. Furthermore, it could help them immensely in the futurehelp immensely in their future. Learning skills opensopen a new horizon of opportunities. In addition to this, individuals learn other essential skills such as teamwork, handling pressure situation and leadership. These skills could be beneficial for their future job. It is not unusual that many children drop out of schoolare dropped out from their schools because of their need to work and earn. The jobs done by children are often risky and harmful to their healthunsuitable for health. The owners often offer lower wagesoffer a fewer wage to child labourerslabours and behave badly with them. This has a very detrimental effect on children’s psychology. In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages ofif paid work outweighoverweighs its advantages. The government should take necessary measures to eradicate this sin from society; youth are the future of any country and should not be deprived of their basic rights.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and considers both the risks and possible benefits of children's paid work, with several relevant supporting points. Its main limitation is that development often relies on broad or weakly explained claims, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise developing fewer claims with specific, credible explanations, then edit sentence structures, agreement, and collocations for clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and both sides are considered, but several relevant ideas rely on generalised or weakly supported claims.
Develop fewer main ideas through specific causal explanation or a credible example directly tied to child employment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence and uses linking expressions, although the single-block presentation and some abrupt connections weaken progression.
Separate the discussion into purposeful paragraphs and make each paragraph advance one clearly connected main idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word-form choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward combinations such as those about paid work, people, and wages with accurate, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but agreement, article, clause, and plural errors recur throughout.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement, noun forms, articles, and complete clause boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.