Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose some solutions.
Sample Response
In today’s world, it has become harder for children to concentrate in the school and school environment, teachers’ behaviour, school administration and lack of interestinterests in the study are some of the main reasons for that. In the following paragraphs, I would briefly discuss the main reasons for this problem and would propose some solutions to address this sensitive issue.
The school surroundings should be pleasant and should have a cool atmosphere. In athe noisy environment, children cannot pay attention in the class periods. Apart from that, nowadays the schools are treating students in the wrong way. The faculties are making them memorisegiving them to remember the answers without actually thinking criticallydoing the brainstorm and creative way of learning. The children just memorise them and write themThe children just memorising it and write those in the exams. That sometimes brings frustration among the students.
Students have more entertaining activitiesfun stuff at home than they do have in schools. Like video games, computers, TV are more attractive and entertaining than studying in school. The teachers sometimes become harsh and that negatively affects the children’s thought. A proper environment is not ensured in many schools and students find it hard to study in a noisy and polluted environment. Very fewless interactive and interesting sessions are conducted by the school authority. Furthermore, very frequent exam schedules and pressure of study is another reason why students fear school. Teacher’s lack of knowledge and proper training sometimes makes them behave rudely. Alarmingly, the study has become more theoretical than practical and as a consequence, the students’ interest in academic subjects is declining.
Some of the proposed solutions to address this very frightening issue are suggested in the below paragraph. I believe being able to address this issue would be a great benefit for our future. School should be primarily a place for study but fun stuff should be present as well. Academic exams and classes should be scheduled in a way that gives the students that they are not being pressurised. Extra-curricular activities should be practised more. Frequent appreciation and prizes should be awarded to the students for their performance. E-learning and flexible classesclass should be introduced. More practical aspects than theoretical aspects of education should be introduced.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies a broad range of plausible causes and practical school-based solutions, showing clear awareness of the issue. Its main weakness is that ideas are often presented as a rapid list, with uneven progression, imprecise wording, and frequent sentence-level errors limiting clarity; the highest-priority improvement is to select fewer cause-and-solution pairs and develop each through a clear explanation, direct link, and relevant example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses causes and solutions, but many points are listed quickly and not developed with clear explanation or examples.
Choose two main causes and two matching solutions, then explain each with cause, effect, and a practical example.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic paragraphing, but progression is uneven and the final solutions paragraph becomes a list.
Organise the essay into cause one, cause two, solution one, solution two, with clear links between each problem and solution.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is understandable but often repetitive or imprecise, with several unnatural phrases.
Replace vague words like fun stuff and frightening issue with precise academic language such as digital distractions and serious educational concern.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, articles, verb forms, and word choice reduce clarity, although the main message is usually understandable.
Practise rewriting long ideas as shorter accurate sentences before combining them.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose some solutions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.