Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is often argued that parents ought to promote a shift in their children's priorities, moving from extensive study time toward greater participation in physical activities. While I agree that physical activity is important, I strongly disagree with the notion of actively reducing study time, as academic diligence remains fundamental to a child's development and future success.
Encouraging children to engage in physical activities alongside their academic pursuits can provide several advantages. Firstly, it significantly improves both physical and mental health. This ishappens because regular exercise strengthens developing muscles and bones and is a proven method for reducing stress; as a result, children become healthier and happier. For example, schools that implement daily physical-activity sessionsdaily sports sessions often report that their students show better concentration and experience fewer health issues. Secondly, physical activity enhances crucial social and practicallife skills. Team sports and group activities inherently teach cooperation, leadership, and problem-solving. Consequently, as children develop these vital interpersonal skills, they become better prepared for future academic and professional settingsenvironments.
However, I believe that advocating for less study timeless time studying can have seriousserious and detrimental academic consequences. The most immediate risk is lower academic achievement. Insufficient time dedicated to studying logically leads to less practice inof core subjects, which in turn results in a weaker understanding and lower grades. For instance, students who consistently skip homework or additional study timeextra study hours often strugglestruggle significantly in exams and standardized tests. Furthermore, reducing study hours can limit a child's long-term intellectual development. Intensive study developsThe process of intensive studying is what develops critical thinking and analytical skills. Therefore, cutting back on this focused time may lead to slower intellectual growth and, ultimately, fewer opportunities for higher academic success.
In conclusion, while promoting physical activity is crucial for a child's well-being, this should not be achieved by diminishing the importance of their studies. I firmly believe a balance must be struck, but actively encouraging less study time is a misguided approach that risks compromising the academic and intellectual foundation necessary for a child's future.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops both the value of exercise and the risks of reducing study time through logically extended explanations and examples. Its main limitation is a degree of formulaic repetition and occasional overstatement, which slightly reduces the sophistication of the argument. The highest priority is to make the reasoning more nuanced by qualifying broad claims and varying recurring cause-and-effect patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit throughout, and the main ideas are relevant, well developed, and directly supported.
Add greater nuance by acknowledging circumstances in which excessive study time could reasonably be reduced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly within a well-controlled paragraph structure, and cohesive devices generally guide the reader effectively.
Vary the repeated sequencing and cause-and-effect signals so the progression feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with only occasional slightly overstated or conventional phrasing.
Choose more measured alternatives for absolute claims and reduce reliance on familiar academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with punctuation and clause control consistently secure.
Refine the prose further by varying sentence openings and trimming a few heavily layered sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.