Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The commercialization of local cultural customsCapitalizing on local cultural customs in order to appeal to tourists has long been controversialhas always been a heated topic as many object to the effectsmany protest the effects this development might have on their cultural heritage. Personally, I disagree with the practice as I do not think they can honestly preserve the culture and heritage of local groups, albeit some exceptions for minority culturesexceptions to minority culture should be made.
One concern is thatAs a point of consideration, when tourists spend money on local cultural traditionsinvest in local cultural traditions, these traditions become commercial productionsbecome a production that must be put on in order to please these tourists, leading to the loss of authenticity over time. Tourism places unnecessary stress on local customs, for they must appeal to tourists for their ideas about the culture and fulfill this expectation. Through a gradual process of change, there might not be any semblance of the originalold tradition left. For instance, many tourist destinations in East Asia have had to adapttransform their food and services to fit Western tastestaste, and as such, loseloses the authenticity that attracted people to thempulled people towards them in the first place.
On the other hand, exceptions may nonetheless be warranted forexceptions can nonetheless be made when it comes to displaced Indigenous peoplesdisplaced natives living on reservations. These people have been forced off their lands in the past, and often forced to adapt to colonizers, and their cultures often have been repressed in the past to the extent that it may be nearly extinct. In these situations, these once sacred and important cultural rituals can only be kept alive through tourists' interestby the interest of tourists. This is why many members of minority groupsmany minority people actively welcome visitors to explore their culture and customs as a way to preserve them.
On the whole, I argue that tourism has had a negative effect on local cultures because theylocal cultures since the local cultures have had to change to something they are not; nonetheless, I believe that some exceptions should be made forto minority cultures that need to be explored in order to be preserved.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, nuanced position, supported by a logically balanced discussion of commercialisation and cultural preservation. Its main limitation is that several claims and examples remain broad, while awkward wording occasionally weakens precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each example with a more explicit causal link to the argument and revise imprecise collocations and agreement errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views, maintains a clear qualified position, and supports each side with relevant reasoning and examples.
Develop the examples more specifically and explain their causal connection to cultural destruction or preservation more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and the nuanced position remains easy to follow throughout.
Reduce repeated demonstrative references such as ‘these’ by naming the precise tradition, group, or effect being discussed.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys complex ideas, although several collocations and word choices are imprecise.
Replace awkward phrases such as ‘appeal to tourists for their ideas’ with more natural, exact formulations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures effectively, with occasional agreement, pronoun-reference, and sentence-control errors.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and ensure every pronoun has a clear, logically matching referent.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.