Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.
Sample Response
Sport is very importantSport is a very important thing in our liveslife and it plays an integral role in keeping us healthy. There are many types of sports, including combat sports, water sports, and individual and team sportsfor example, fighting sports, water sports, single and team sports. Some of these sports are dangerous, such asdangerous like mixed martial arts and mountain climbing.
Many people are drawn to these dangerous sportsprefer these dangerous sports and keep practising them regularly. I think they enjoy participating in themlove to do so because they may lack confidencefeel a lack of confidence, so they try to overcome this feelingmaintain this point bythrough doing these dangerous sports. Besides that, some people may have difficulty dealing with othersproblems in dealing with others as they might be treated in an impolite and crude way, so they need to learn and practise combat sportspractice fighting sports to be able to defend themselves. The most striking feature, in my opinion, is the stress in addition to the negative energy that many people have, they need to release their stress by practising dangerous sports as windsurf for instance.
I believe thatI tend to see that, those people should be trained well by professional coaches before they start participating in themplaying these to minimise any danger that may occur while practisingduring this practice. Also, some restrictions should be imposeddone for these sports and they should be age-basedrelated to age, as young children and adolescentsthe small children and young ages should be preventedavoided from practising this kind of sports because they may still be too youngmay still young to deal with the dangers involveddeal with their dangerous.
Last but not least, governments and the concerned regulatory authorities should set rules to guide and control participation inthe practising of these dangerous sports, as one of their responsibilities is to keep their citizens safe.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both required parts and offers several causes and practical safety measures, with clear paragraphing helping the reader follow the broad argument. However, some reasons are weakly explained or only loosely connected to dangerous sports, while frequent awkward grammar and collocation reduce precision. The priority is to develop fewer, more convincing causes and support each one with a direct explanation before presenting clearly expressed solutions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the motivations and possible safety measures are addressed, but several ideas are insufficiently developed or not fully convincing.
Select two plausible motivations and explain the causal link between each motivation and participation in dangerous sports with a focused example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression from causes to solutions, although some long sentences and loose references weaken cohesion.
Separate overloaded sentences and use explicit referencing so that each supporting point connects clearly to the paragraph's central idea.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing sport, risk, training, and regulation, but inaccurate collocations and word forms recur.
Use more natural combinations such as impose age restrictions and reduce the risk, checking noun and adjective forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, agreement, articles, and punctuation reduce control.
Prioritize accurate sentence boundaries and complete clause structures, especially after linking expressions and in sentences containing reasons.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.